Juz My Thoughts....

First impressions or NOT??

2009-08-02T11:01:00.000-07:00

It's always good to be able to hear different opinions on debatable issues so that the arrival of the conclusion/solution would not be one-sided but......

Sometimes, deep down, a little reassurance helps too...

I know you have your stand on certain issues...
I know you have your views too...
I know I shouldnt be thinking like this...

But, I cant help feeling and thinking like this... It could be that insecurity voice inside that's speaking.... that tinge of unhappiness that is tugging at my heart... I know this shouldnt be the way, the unreasonable voice in me speaking, but sometimes, all it takes is just a little reassurance....

It hurts to know that you are fiercely defending in that person's favour.... sometimes, such observations says alot.... and a woman's intuition can be so right.....

Gawd... its been long...

2009-07-20T00:02:00.000-07:00

Well, i realized that it's been a long time since i last updated.... hahaha... lazy larz...lolz... well, spring sem came and go... and finally, the long awaited trip to taiwan and hong kong arrived... so excited bout the trip can.. lolz... finally, the chance for me to relax and enjoy myself w/o having to worry bout exams/quizzes/projects/assignments/grades and getting myself to sch especially in the mornings.. hahaha... but the hols were quite short thou... cant help wishing for more time... hahaha...

Thn now its the summer sem again, and in another 2-3 weeks time, summer sem's gonna end.. and fall sem will be arriving end august... Fall sem and its gonna be 3rd yr for me alr... sighz!! time passes so quickly...

And next month, turning one yr older... sighz... 24th b'day and i wish for a surprise.... can i have an early b'day wish?? Lolz... wellz, it'll be great if it materialise.... lolz... and this yr... lots of changes going round... will it be for the better or worse?? wellz, i definitely hope its for the better... :) wellz, i'm definitely up for that challenge... :)

Kayz, till another time i decide to blog... when i'm not so lazy and have more time... tadahz!! :)

quick update...

2009-04-07T01:39:00.000-07:00

GAWD!!! FINALLY!!! FINALLY!!! FINALLY!!! Can relax for awhile and breathe before going back to the workload again.... the 2 research papers are finally submitted alr.... YAYZ!!!
Wads left to do??

COM 300 Research Paper (DONE) :)
COM 242 Research Paper (DONE) :)
COM 125 Presentation (Tomolo)
COM 300 Presentation (TOmolo)
COM 242 Presentation (Thurs)
COM 125 Final Blog entry (TOmolo)

Thn its the study break and finals.... cant wait for the last paper man.... thn its time to enjoy!!! Hahaha.... Waiting Waiting and counting down.... I wan back my social life tat sch's been depriving mi of.... Lolz....

I wanna enjoy myself w/o worrying abt work not done... of quizzes to study for.... of exams to mug for..... projects and presentations and research papers to bury mi and crush mi to death... hahaha....

27th April.... FASterly arrive....hahaha.... kayz.... the other blog is beckoning mi to update alr.... tada till after exams...

Back to update again...

2009-03-25T07:35:00.000-07:00

Yupz.... back to post another entry again... lolz... busy planning for our itinerary and for our trip next mth... really really cant wait to go..... juz need the break and get away from this place... It is the busy period of the semester again....

Arghz!!! presentations on the same day, research papers to hand in.... gawd!!! thn there's still the dreaded finals to handle.... >.< bud the trip is motivating me... hahahaha.... can't wait to get my hands on q-pot.... lolz.... it's juz so cute, so irresistible... hahahaha....

And and and.... a few days ago, this stupid cyclist knocked me down and still got the cheek to raise his voice at mi.... and so i raised mine back and scolded him.... i mean cant he see tat there's another cyclist coming in my direction.... and of coz i would hafta move to one side to avoid it wad..... and since he is behind mi... he sohould have seen the cyclist coming in my direction and brake first before moving on but NO... he did not... so whose fault is it thn.... and so i scolded him left right center... hahaha....

my theme song for this week: 李聖傑-你們要快樂

This song is juz so nice.... brings back memories.... thou tt person's not my gd fren larz coz i believe gd frenz wun hurt each other in this way....loads of thoughts running thru my mind.... I'm thinking of lots of stuff.... and i'm thinking of you too.... :) stay happy.... be happy and still the next entry.... tadahz!!! hope i survive the workload.... lolz...

Harlow world, Long time no see... Lolz....

2009-03-18T07:09:00.000-07:00

OMG!!! Its been so long since my last post in oct last yr.... had been too busy and plain lazy to update.... wellz... guess tis will be a long entry... hahaha.... and i decided to blog today becoz Zq was asking mi ytd whether I intend to update my blog anytime soon or let it die.... so here goes Zq, i dun intend to let my blog die so early.... lolz....

Wellz, last sem had been a fun and slack-ish semester coz i only had 2 modules which left mi loads of time.... Heez... had only one presentation to do coz the other module was maths ( tt sucky stupid subject which i managed to finally scape thru) like Whew!!! Finals came and went... Was so so so overjoyed on the last day of my exams coz i saw someone i've not seen for so long..... someone i've been longing to see.... we chatted.... thn we left.... continued the whole conversation via sms when tt person messaged mi.... words cant explain the joy i had in mi.... :)

X'mas came and went.... nothing great tis x'mas except for the usual gathering at my uncle's place.... but tis yr i had 2 bundles of joy who kept mi smiling at my uncles's place.... it was my cousin's baby and my ex-bf's baby.... lolz.... they are juz sooo cute and adorable.... than a few days after that, my handphone went crazy on mi and auto shut down....afterwhich, 2 new messages showed up in my inbox which was so weird coz i've alr read all the messages alr.... brought the phone to the service center and they checked everything for mi and low and behold.... apparently when my handphone auto shut down on mi, the 2 new messages showed up in my inbox but the messages were not new at all coz it was dated during my 1st wk of dec..... felt really guilty for not replying that person coz tt person is someone who holds a very special place in my heart...

Thn came the CNY.... wasnt tt great tis yr thou.... quite boring... bud we chatted again via sms when tt person msged mi on CNY eve.... its amazing how everytime i tink of tt person.... a msg will show up from tt person.... and i really treasure every single conversation we had....

The brand new yr oso ushered in a new sch term.... taking 4 modules tis semester and i'm still coping fine up till now bud the busy period is starting soon.... with all the project presentations, reports and research papers to hand in.... GOD BLESS ME! lolz... bud tis semester has been gd.....

wellz... in feb there's v'day.... spent it wif the laogong and frenz.... had a fun time there.... bud the tingie which made my heart smile was a msg from someone wishing mi a happy v'day... its really enuf to make mi smile silly to slp... the msg came at 12plus in the morning.... and i had juz gotten home after dinner and drinks with my baby and her fren which is not bad looking lehz.... quite good looking.... lolz.... we chilled at holland V and it was fun.... nice chatting wif baby and her fren.... lolz....

Lolz.... it seems like i'm trying my best to squeeze everything into tis long entry.... lolz.... the laogong's b'day came and went.... hamster rhino and frenz went to surprised her at her hse when the clock struck 12, was supposed to join them bud i had project conference to do at home so i din managed to make it down in time.... so i joined them later on at nitez after work for steamboat dinner.... glad the laogong lurve wad i did and got for her.... Heez....

And now I'm counting down to my trip....lolz.... cant wait cant wait.... 27th april fasterly arrive.... hahaha.... taiwan and hongkong here i come!!! :)

ANd to end off wif a song that says more than a million words.... hearing tis song reminds mi of someone special.... it tells a story so dear.... so touching tis song.... its by ping guan titled-wo yi wei... enjoy!!

till the next entry.... singning off....

loss, regret and cherish.....

2008-10-15T06:15:00.000-07:00

Its been quite some time since i've last updated my blog....lolz...and i tink i had betta update it lest u guys tink tat its dead...lolz.... i've juz been too busy to update larz....lolz...

Midterms came and went....Din do well for maths again...as usual...haiz... and i'm kinda disappointed coz i tink i did put in effort this time round coz i really wanted to at least pass tis toopid module so tat i can do other modules... the feeling sux bud i guess its a call to say i had betta pull my socks higher if i really wanna pass at the end of the semester.... still waiting for my psy midterm grade which will be given out tml.... cant wait to see how i fared.....cross my fingers... cross my heart and hope for the best...lolz...

Work has been fun....as usual eventhough there were some hiccups which happened.... sun went for the trainig of the new espresso machine.... its cool....lurve it to bits and how i lurve how it can pull espresso shots like the old machine... strong espresso shots where the coffee smell and taste is more intense...After the training, went to watch a play wif my fren at the national library called- The Vagina Monologue... it was great.... the issues that were being portrayed and how they went about portraying it and substantiating it wif facts... it made mi ponder more and tink more about these issues....

Alot of things are happening within mi ritez now... alot of things which are seeking answers....reflecting and thinking about many many things.... it cant help bud bring mi into a melancholic mood... was listening to these 2 songs the past 2 wks or so... the lyrics touched mi so much.... i guess the reason is becoz these 2 songs aptly described my 1st and 2nd r/s.... it made my heart ache and i cant help thinking back....

The 1st r/s can be described thru this song-- 香水有毒 by 胡杨林...

I couldnt stop thinking of him as this song played.... many many yrs have passed....time is still moving on but this song brought back memories which i've held so dear to mi.... memories both sweet and bitter.... the perfect lurve that u wanted was not so perfect in my eyes.... when goals and dreams go in opposite directions at the crossroad.... no matter how i cant bear to let go.... i hafta let go....

The 2nd r/s can be described thru this song--爱我的人和我爱的人 by 裘海正...

And all i can say is that it wasnt even meant to be in the first place... by being soft hearted and giving u a chance... i've indirectly caused u and myself hurt.... which wasnt wad i've wanted.... seeing u hurt pains mi to.... and all i can say is.... i'm so happy and thankful tat u're moving on happily wif this other gal now...

Alot of thoughts are going thru my mind now.... shall end here and update again another day....

musings of the forlon mind and heart....

2008-09-23T09:16:00.000-07:00

Back to update again....lolz... work was nothing bud fun last week... lolz.... had the weekend off like after so long i finally get my sat and sun off from work.... lolz... spent the time slacking and resting and doing my own things at home.... lolz.... meet my baby for dinner on sun and it was fun fun fun.... we talked, laughed and reminisce abt the past.... sweet!!!

Work on mon was fun... after tt, waited for shups to end work and went to makan at cineleisure.... lolz.... it was the craving for kobahyashi.... lolz.... went home after tt coz i was too tired to go anywhere....lolz...

Loads of thoughts have been running thru my mind the past few days especially during the weekends when i was taking a breather from work and drinking under my void deck on.... tis song came over the radio channel i was listening and at that point in time, my heart weighed a ton... pondering over issues over alcohol helps.... IN VINO VERITAS.... lolz.... been praying for answers too bud i'm still clueless over some questions that was flowing thru my mind.... bud i believe that god will make a way like he has oways does....

Wadeva the song was singing brought mi back to 3yrs ago, i cld still remember vividly everything which happened.... everything seemed so near.... all the pain, heartbreaks, tears, unanswered questions and the most important thing which is the cold harsh reality slap in the face....
All the sweet melodious words became nothing bud empty vessels.... all the loving actions became nothing more than juz the sheild u used juz to cover up for wadeva u've done... and the tears which i've shed over those 5yrs were more than wad i've shed before all these happened when u walked into my life as i've once commented.... but yet i cant help bud really thank u for all u've done to mi coz it was really a hard lesson for mi to learn and grow from.... and for everything u've done to and for mi, i've really loved u.... haf u??? bud 3yrs forward now, thou the memories still seemed so clear bud it has become nothing bud memories that i hold so dear to myself.... memories which when thought of would still bring mi close to tears...

Thank u for stepping into my life.... bringing mi life's lessons worth learning.... for making mi grow up thru all the hurt u've done.... and i can only reiterate these words again--- becoz i loved u, i chose to set u free... for love's not abt possessing bud in seeing u happy....
And i'm happy to see that u've moved on beri well.... and to know that my decision had not been wrong... wellz... i've moved on too, bud he'll oways be a part of mi....

This song by 何維健 Derrick Ho is so nice larz... titled- 你走天橋我走地下道... enjoy....

tada.... going off to lala-land.... :) tml will be a brand new day of happiness and learning experiences.... :)

Updates!!!

2008-09-18T12:18:00.000-07:00

I know I know... its been sucha long time since i've last updated my blog... been kinda busy and lazy to actually get my fingers to type out an entry here... so i've finally finally decided to get down to actually updating my blog in case ppl tink that i've abandoned my blog... lolz...

Been really busy and making full use of my time since the last blog entry.... Projects presentations and submissions came and went.... Essay submission was oso due and submitted... finals came and went too... and there goes my summer semester after a tight/packed 6 week course for each module..... and its also the semester which i din skipped a single lecture at all for all the modules... hahaha.... amidst all the working too.... and late nitez out and chilling wif frenz.... lolz.... hectic hectic summer semester i could literally feel the heat.... :P

And my 2 week break came and went too.... was busy working during the 2 week break ... din really paused to take a break coz i figured i mite as well work for the 2 weeks and earn back what i'll prolly lose out when the fall semester starts.... lolz.... not much thou.... lolz....

Than there was my birthday during the 2 week break too.... celebrated wif frenz on different days of the week.... lolz... thx peeps for all the pressies and time spent... memorable and enjoyable.... lolz.... and i guessed birthday wishes do come true afterall.... :) heez.... and a few days after my birthday, the fall semester started...

And now i'm already like in my 4th week of the Fall semester oready... time passes so quickly larz.... gawd!!! hope to clear all my modules for this semester.... i dun wanna resign from maths again.... i juz wanna clear it and get rid of this agonizing, torturing, and brain-power wastage module which i really dun wish to see after this semester..... it has been going pretty well i guess.... wellz!!! at least i finally passed a maths quiz on my own ability.... hahaha..... heheheh.... a good start... a good start... :)

kayz.... long long post and more to say bud i'll save it for another day.... tada!!! gg to do another maths quiz again... :( lolz.... alot of things to be done bud i'm loving it!!! lolz....

another update....

2008-08-05T20:45:00.000-07:00

I juz realised that its been soooo long since i've last updated my bloggie.... alot of things have been happening.... and i've no time to even wanna update my blog.... hahaha.... its juz a nicer way of saying i'm juz lazy to update larz.... lolz... in the midst of finals ritez now.... one down one more to go....

And my comp is giving mi problems..... i tink its someting to do wif the sound card inside my comp.... if i dun on my speakers and no sound comes out my comp will not go kaapuut on mi automatically bud if i on my speakers to listen to music, the comp juz goes kaapuut on mi.... so i derived at the conclusion that it is the sound card problem inside the cpu.... hah.... bud i'm not sure if i'm ritez.... toopid comp.... so now my comp is practically dumb and muted.... dun wanna risk having it die on mi again.... :(

Alot of things have been happening this past few days.... sis was admitted to hospital on sun and mummy says she'll only be discharged tml if nothing goes wrong.... exams is getting to my nerves and the presentation today was a flop.... i tink i juz managed to dug my own grave for the presentation.... and i cant help worrying about some other stuff too.... its juz so many many things to do and worry this past few days.... its a miracle i managed to hold out till now.... after tml and i'll be free.... cant wait cant wait.... its time for some retail therapy..... i need to destress myself....

I've once walked thru the boulevard of broken dreams.... bud u sent mi soaring to the sky in delirium.... thinking of our dreams.... :) its a special connection i feel.... i wonder if u feel the same as i do?? i've never known that silence could be sooo sweet.... coz the silence is filled by dreams of u.... :)

without you........

2008-07-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

Today was fun fun fun.... woke up to cook for our potluck surprised b'day celebration for zq.... glad tt she was really surprised and happy over our b'day surprise for her.... lolz.... and it was kinda farnie seeing her expression of shock when she took off the blindfold and realised that all along she's the only one playing the game which we've devised....lolz.... after tt we proceeded to bukit timah market to eat tau hwey.. izzit spelt liddat?? After that headed to Jo's house to play mahjong.... lolz.... its only my 3rd time playing bud i won abit... hahahaa.... coz we play beri beri small amount..... hahaahah..... beginner's luck.... lolz.... thn it was off for home ard 10.30pm.... lolz.... whole day out but it was a day well spent....

Ytd worked and did project after work in store.... glad tt our project is finally done except for some loose ends to tie up thn can submit on monday alr.... yayz!!! cant wait for the 2 weeks break tts coming soon.... lolz... its the busiest period of the sem again..... yikes!!! cant stand it..... lolz....

Going out tml again wif my baby.... planned something on alr.... gotta rush out work when i'm home again.... gawd!!! my lips are so dry.... its peeling off.... haiz.... lolz....

I miss and cant wait to see tt person again.... I seriously am thankful for all the happiness and warmth tts been gg on in my life.... and i really hope tt it'll last forever..... praying it wun be gone like the wind.... stay on and laughter and smiles will multiply..... :) counting down......

surreal... surreal... surreality.....

2008-07-22T01:50:00.000-07:00

Haven been updating my bloggie for some time.... busy busy week... mid terms is finally over... whew!!! lolz... now is on to the project and portfolio and the essay tt we gotta do abt aristotle's rhetoric in modern society.... like wth!!! I dun even understand wad the qn is tokking abt.... guess i'm gonna try to find a way to decipher this complicated qn....

Kayz.... now is back to doing my report for the project.... alot of things to do sia.... report 20 pges as if not enuf to kill us still gotta do a powerpoint presentation.... >.< i tink its gonna be a hectic week away.... woahz!!! muz jia you jia you!!!

This past week has been fun fun fun.... I really hope this wun be temporal.... everynitez i'm giving thankz for everyting..... I really hope this happiness will nv fade away.... sometimes i tink back and really thank GOd for all these wonderful times i've had this past week.... and i hope it will continue on and on.... nv once taking all these for granted..... it juz seems like a dream.... so surreal and sweet..... GOD thank you for all these.... i hope it will nv end.... :)

reflections....

2008-07-16T12:22:00.000-07:00

Was so busy last week... working and schooling and going out and clubbing and store meeting.... movies..... all jammed into one week.... i love it.... keeps mi busy... makes mi busy... i dun wanna slow down and slack.... dun wanna have idle time to have idle thoughts.... exam tml... been studying for it.... and its making mi hungry everytime i touch this module.... too much brain power needed.... hahaha....

Been watching the drama serial fated to love you... its so nice... makes mi cry almost every episode....lolz.... been reading on the book which i've juz bought too... i kissed dating goodbye.... and i'm agreeing wif every word said in the book....

Was at vivo's starbucks ytd studying and staring out at the sea and pondering on alot of things..... had alot of revelations and enlightenments and i'm sticking to my resolutions..... its no point giving too much time.... not when its not being appreciated bud taken advantage of.... i've oways respected ppl's decisions.... since it doesn't mean anyting to you.... thn fine.... wadeva u wanna do.... keep silent for all u want.... i'm only giving up to this weekend anyways.... tts the last grace period given.... no reply... tts it... the clock is slowly ticking.... its alr wed.... another 4 more days.... anyways u dun even care in the first place.... egoistic.....

Saw someone ytd when i was at vivo..... it juz suddenly came to my mind while i was thinking that eventhough u were irritating and i couldnt help bud wanted to shake u off.... for all the things that u've done to frightened mi bud i still gotta give u credit for daring to face up to ur feelings and be a man abt it instead of being a wuss.... and i'm sorry if i've said any hurting words to you in the process.....

Anyways.... the clock is ticking... i'm waiting and observing to see if my guess is ritez or wrong.... bud all i can say is the odds are 90:10.... 90% tt my guess will be correct consiering wad a wuzz tt person has been.... hhmm.... lets wait and see....

updating again

2008-07-08T07:12:00.001-07:00

It's only been 2 days into the week and I cant wait for the week to be over.... i tink this can be attributed to the fact that i'm sick... lost my voice and having fever today in sch.... felt veri stoned out during lecture today if not for someone who was keeping mi awake.... lolz...

Work tml... i think its gonna be fun.... thurs got store meeting... lolz.... tis week is a packed week for mi.... i like.... getting into the momentum again to start doing sch work and studying again....

Chanced upon this book today in class while i was reading this magazine coz the lecturer got too boring.... i'm so gonna get it tml if there's still stock left at borders tml after work..... i guess it was the title of the book which caught my attention.... hhmm... am so gonna get it....

I miss him like crazy.... he's an idiot... bud i miss this idiot so badly.... been listening to this song over and over again from my hp.... a veri nice song..... its by christine glass titled--- my love will get you home...

My Love Will Get You Home

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.

Beri nicne lyrics.... i like.... listen to the song... its nicer...
okiez... going off.... tired.... and heartbroken.....

P.S: I kissed dating goodbye.

updating!!

2008-07-06T01:55:00.000-07:00

It has been a hectic week... seriously lack of slp... bud it has been a gd week.... sch has been fun.... alot of fun, jokes and laughter... made mi happy at least while i'm in sch.... bud work is seriously getting more.... summer semester is sucha busy busy semester.... work is fun too.... my unglam unglam is finally back in store after so long.... he came back to work on fri... so happy to have him back in store.... and zul is finally back from kallang store oso.... yayz!!! goodie goodie!! work will be getting more and more fun....

Went out wif chris and diana to watch movie after work on fri.... went to watch- The Stranger.... the ending was sooo lame i cant believe i was actually freaked out for the whole duration of the movie only to be presented wif a lame ending.... eventhough i got a shocked coz of the sudden loud sound and screaming.... after that we juz hang around town to chill and talk before going home as we were both tired from the nitez before.... i did not slp a wink coz i was so afraid i couldnt wake up to get to work.... was at play on thurs nitez.... it was the andro hunt finals.... saw someone i knew there.... and shups agreed wif mi tt she's kinda cute.... lolz.... was there wif chris first before shups came.... only got to leave ard 2plus 3am.... >.<

Thn fri after work and movie and chilling, went to meet another fren to drink... had a fun time wif my fren and we shld do tt more often.... lolz.... it is a gd way to forget all ur troubles and enjoy every moment of life.....

On fri something gd happened.... a silly guy made mi so so happy for awhile.... lolz.... had a fun fun time talking to him... he made mi laugh and smile the whole time.... he entertained mi until it was some time left to the meeting.... lolz.... the talk we had on our dreams, passion adn silly silly random stuff.... cool.... i smiled myself silly that day....

It has been 3 weeks.... not a word from you.... not even a call nor a msg.... wads wif tt ego tingie... issit that hard to juz answer a yes or no.... tis sucks.... hurt and painful.... bud u wun even care.... tt heck care attitude of urs..... more thn once i've been so tempted to ask bud ppl keep asking mi not to.... juz ignore him they said.... bud its hurting so much... maybe my only solace is tt he dun even care....

updates again...

2008-06-29T01:35:00.000-07:00

Had a good weekend.... got to receive my results ytd.... went to check it online... i did pretty okiez for it... lolz.... quite happy wif the result.... at least i maintained the grade.... i could have gotten a betta grade if not for the midterms which kinda brought down my grade bud overall it was still gd.... happy!!! happy!!! tml is the start of the new module.... hope to get the same if not betta grade for it.... muz jia you!!!

Went to work in the morning ytd.... thn headed home to change and check results before going out to mit maggie, benji and ZQ to celebrate benji's b'day.... i lost my way while going to meet them... >.< panicked for awhile as i thought i've missed the bus stop.... called maggie and asked for directions.... panicked panicked... >.< thn i found out that actually i've not reached the stop yet... whew!!! close call.... lolz.... thn had to slowly find my way to the place and maggie came out to mit mi to bring mi in... lolz.... so gong gong larz mi....

After we left De Coders cafe.... went newton for supper.... lolz.... tok and tok and laughed our time there... benji!!! remember our 27yrs old promise.... u betta not let it happen... lolz... thn we left newton ard 1plus and walked to far east to take nitez rider home.... reached home ard 2plus 3am... went online for awhile thn it's bed time... lolz....

Woke up today ard 12pm... slacked at home and watched teevee and helped mummy to fold clothes.... thn took my time to prepare and head out to town.... went store to check schedule and slacked there for awhile.... thn went off wif colleagues to indochine and bar none to chill out.... the music is gd there.... left ard 11plus to catch bus home.... lolz.... coz tml got sch and i din wanna stay out too late... the start of the new module... dun wanna go to lecture stoned out... lolz....

heard this song when i was having dinner.... its nice.... titled built to last by melee.... lyrics veri meaningful.... the song dedicated for him.... :)

Enjoy the song.... beri nice.... i miss him alot alot.... bud oh wells.... if only he knows why and wad is gg on.... why the cold shoulder i've been giving and wad is gg on.... tada!!! going to slp alr... sch tml morning... finally.... i get to go sch early and end early....

i'm confused....

2008-06-27T07:52:00.000-07:00

Stayed up late last nitez to see if the lecturer had alr posted the results as she said bud the results were not up.... and i din wanna wait anymore coz i was so tired i fell aslp ard 1plus 2am.... work today was fun.... volunteered to go for the fire drill tingie which was basically juz representing the store to go and sign tt we're there.... dotz.... lolz....

After work met up wif my project mates to celebrate at nydc.... before tt as i've time to spare.... accompanied mama ross to go shopping... hahaha... we went in dutti and mama ross was like- i feel so weird being inside here... thn she starts laughing which made mi laugh too....

It is so hot outside... cant stand the humid weather.... OMG!!

Do u think u even know mi tt well as u say u do tt u can read wads gg on in my head?? I seriously think u dont.... 100% sure that u dont... becoz if u noe.... u wld have known wad to do.... i miss u so much i wanna see u bud i'm so angry and pissed i wanna stranggle u when i see u....

Someone said to mi to ignore u coz u're juz being ignorant.... i said no, u're not being ignorant bud a wuss (coward) coz u dun even dare to say wad u feel.... its juz a yes or no... sucha simple thing yet this thing has been faced wif avoidance and silence..... Avoidance and silence....

Someone said i did the right thing by giving u the cold shoulder juz now.... it really hurts i replied bud wads more hurting is that he dont even bother and treat the matter lightly bud ohwellz.... wad can i say.... U JUZ DONT CARE AT ALL!!! I'm hurting.... heartbreaking... fuming all at the same time....

bud i really shld gif u credit for gathering some courage to initiate the conversation wif mi after the silence of exactly 2 wks.... hah.... I'm feeling indignant.... feeling hurt.... u din even think of mi when u were gone.... thinking of other ppl instead.... fine.... i dont care.... silence for all i care....

It's too late to apologized.... its too late.... i say it's too late to apologize....

14days and still counting... when will the hurting stop??

updates updated!!!

2008-06-26T07:31:00.000-07:00

Today marks the end of my comm 202 module..... Finals was today.... studied until 12plus last nitez before i finally succumbed to the luring hands of Mr Bed..... woke up tis morning ard 7-7.30am to revise again.... had to have an additional shot of espresso to my usual drink today coz I was yawning and yawning.... the paper wasnt as hard as i thought it would be budden again.... i was guessing for quite a number of questions coz i did not go take note of all those figures and percentages.... i seriously sux wif numbers and figures.... gawd!!! maths sux.....

Finally i can take a breather until mon... when my next module starts....tt reminds mi, i've to e-mail tt guy to inform him tt i wanna add another module for the 2nd half of the sem..... it's back to tt workaholic lifestyle again.... somehow, i've been so accustomed to tt workaholic lifestyle of work and sch work and projects and assignments..... and when it quietens down... i feel lost.... I prefer tis hectic life..... keeps mi busy to even wanna try to comprehend the uncomprehensible which is making mi go crazy.... izzit becoz i'm too simple or u're too complicated.... why o' why.... at least a reply....

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.... countless tomorrows have alr passed and gone..... in the company of salty tears and emo songs.... how long more do you intend to keep silent.... until the day i explode wif fire?? Heard this song over the teevee juz now.... i like.... emo and the lyrics meaningful....

The title is called '不公平' by xiao he shuo.... a taiwanese singer....

13days and still counting... when will the hurting stop??

hah....bored....

2008-06-24T08:48:00.000-07:00

Juz came back not long ago.... was so called emo-ing tog wif shups at esplanade.... by the river looking at the merlion....Mama Ross was so farnie i cld not help bud laugh at the msges.... bud it was beri sweet of her..... was tokking and drinking at esplanade and teaching shups the song our group made up ytd which made her laugh her ass off....

Okiez... we were basically emo-ing abit here and there and drowning ourselves.... shups took some peektures oso... when she msged mi and said she wants to go esplanade and look at the construction sites and wanted my company.... i was blur.... thn she added that she's going to store to take her camera b4 heading down to esplanade and I tot she needed to go esplanade to take peektures of construction sites for wadeva reason and juz wanted mi to accompany her.... which i was wrong afterall.... shups had a good laugh when i told her about tis.... bud the esplanade is really a good place to hide and emo and disappear for awhile....

Work was fun today!!!! Really enjoyed myself.... they made mi laugh and brigthened my spirits..... sch was boring.... i mean the module today was boring.... i fell aslp when the lecturer was droning on and on and i was juz waiting for time to pass b4 i can get my ass outta the Lecture Theatre.....

A part of mi is hoping for the positive side and a part of mi is thinking of the negative becoz i dun wanna tink positive and end up getting a concussion from falling too hard onto the ground..... I miss you so much I wanna see you bud i'm so pissed and angry that i really wanna stranggle you when I see you.... Been singing tis to myself to kip mi from hurting.... wadeva.....wadeva.... dunnoez larz.... silence and more silence..... wad the heck!!!

11 days and still counting.... when will the hurting end???

Hate That I Lurve U......

2008-06-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

Updating again.... today marks the end of our group's project presentation... had a blast working wif these peeps and the peektures we took today for the slides were nice nice nice.... hah... especially the ones where we were trying to strangle the only guy in our group.... all the craziness while trying to get work done... OMG!!! they juz make my day smiling and smiling.... And we began to sing a song---- when i was juz a lil gal/boy... i ask my mother wad will i be.... will i be lesbian... will i be gay?? here's wad she said to mi... gay sera sera... wadeva will be will be.... hahahaha.... tts how focused we are into our project topic.... :) thx peeps for making tis project a wonderful experience.... now the final lap.... finals is tis thurs.... gawd!!!

bud when everything has quietened down... alone and thinking.... u have never left my heart and mind.... even when i was smiling along wif my project mates.... it hurts.... how long more muz tis "game" go on?? its torturing and draining.... tis song came to my mind when i was earching thru songs 2 days ago.... it made mi cry listening to it....

Sounds familiar..... its---- NEVER HAD A DREAM COME TRUE.... the lyrics made mi cry and cry.... 10days and still counting.... when will the hurting stop???

updates.....

2008-06-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

Been a rough few weeks since I last updated.... been rushing out assignments as usual and working when i have time and only taking a breather on sundays to finish assignments.... been clubbing alot last week..... was at zouk and play.... basically i ended up at zouk on wed, thurs and sat last week..... so broke alr larz now.... wad the heck.... bud its been gd.... drinking is gd.... makes u forget unhappy stuff and enjoy every min of ur life..... the outlet to my source of unhappiness which no one understands..... or rather they are basically juz preoccupied wif the 'I, MI, MYSELF' kind of mentality to even bother and brush off wif passing remarks..... bud expects ppl to be there for them when they nid someone to listen to them.... which i dun mind of coz..... i mean wad r frenz for....

Was at play last nitez bud i left veri early coz had to wake up early for work today.... thn headed down to sch for project meeting until 8plus before i headed home.... wahz!!! it's like the first time i've stayed back in sch till so late on a fri juz to do projects.... lolz.... bud i like.... work and assignments kip mi distracted from things which i dun wish to think abt.... mayb i shld find one wk and juz disappear where no one can contact mi.... it'll be soon..... it'll materialise soon....

Anywayz.... it doesnt matter wad.... SILENCE!!! SILENCE!! tts wad i've been getting anyway.... since ppl r juz so fond of not replying and keeping the other party in suspense.... i mean.... fun wad..... to pretend as if got phone like no phone liddat.... mayb i shld gif it a try oso... try being rude and not reply.... i mean, no harm trying new things ritez.... was juz telling a fren today tt if i ever set up a company, the first criteria i'll look for in my employee is whether the person CAN AT LEAST REPLY A YES/NO AND NOT JUZ KEEP SILENT.... coz such ppl are usually ones wif a mind of their own.... i mean by saying a yes or no u're alr making a decision for urself.... am i not ritez to say that?? HAIZ!!!! HATE THIS FEELING.... mayb i shld play along in this 'LET'S SEE WHO CAN KIP SILENT LONGER' GAME...... a little perk to my otherwise boring life of work and sch.....

Kayz.... shall end here.... got to work early tml.... beri tired alr..... TADA!!!

be4 i go KL......

2008-06-05T12:39:00.000-07:00

Hahz!! today had my midterms for comm 202.... i tink i gonna die for tis paper.... really really tired out.... after sch went out to mit my dearies for dinner and to celebrate XDD's b'day... hahaha.... glad tat she enjoyed herself today and was surprised by wad we've done for her.... took quite a number of pix too.... as XDD says... the way we were snapping away is as if we're not gonna see each other again.... lolz.... glad to see that u're becoming more cheerful and talkative.... jia you!!!
After my dearies left... my baby came over and we sorta chilled out at store and talk and enjoy each other's company.... its great talking to u baby...... u know mi best and non of those pretentious stuff which is why i lurve u so much... hahaha... u know ritez?? lolz.... budden my baby had to leave early coz her parents were chasing her to get home soon so she left and i stayed back in store to chill out and enjoy the company there.... lurve these people so much.....
Going to go KL soon in a few hrs time... lolz.... hope tis trip will be a fruitful one even though i was forced to go.... bud i guess it'll be a gd time for mi to de-stress and sort out my thoughts....
Otayz!!! Gonna go do some work before i go off to KL... blog again when i'm back...

All Songs.....

2008-06-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

This entry shall be one of few words bud more of songs to express wad i'm feeling and my reflections....

The 1st song is by 品冠 titled 我以为

This song reminds mi of last yr.... a beri nice touching song....

The 2nd song is by Zhang Dong Liang titled Wo Zhen De Yi Wei

This song reflected the thoughts of someone and i can only say i'm sorry....

The 3rd song is by 張棟樑 again titled 錯愛

This song represents my feelings now.... feelings and thoughts that i dun wish to think abt.... feelings and thoughts that its betta believed to be wrong.... that makes mi wanna kip myself even busier so that i've got no time to let random thoughts invade my mind...

And the final song I'm going to put up in this entry is MY FAV SONG OF ALL TIMES BY GLENN MEDEIROS TITLED NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE MY LOVE FOR YOU

This is so gonna be my wedding song.... if i'll ever get to be married.... *dreams* or if there'll be a guy who'll sing it for mi i'm so gonna melt into his arms i swear....
p.s: this is for whoever u are out there..... :)

update!

2008-06-01T06:41:00.000-07:00

So fast and half a yr have alr gone by.... gawd!! So many things have happened within the first half of the yr and its keeping mi so so busy especially sch and work.....
It's alr the 3rd sem for mi and i'm kinda scared for it.... i had betta pass my maths module tis sem.... i dun care... lolz.... luckily tis sem i got frenz in the same lecture as mi if not i'll be bored stiff lorz.... juz like last sem when not one of my frenz were in the same lecture as mi....
recently.... hearing tis song over and over again.... i like it... beri beri nice.....

I only like tis song from her.... lolz.... its by 郭靜 titled-下一個天亮. especially the part when she sings- ur shoulder is my vast and broad heaven....lolz....

And i nid to keep myself even busier.... coz i've been thinking alot alot and weird feelings are attacking mi again.... arghz... dear god pls get rid of those feelings man.... i dun wanna tink abt it nor have it invade my heart and mind.... such thoughts are not good for the soul.... hahahaha.... sounds like something bad but no larz... juz dun like to have such thoughts.... if its meant to be it'll be....
OTayz otayz!!! focus focus.... sch and work are much worth my time instead of such redundant stuff... or u can say i'm juz trying to kid myself.... so wad if i'm running away....some things are betta left unsaid....

Anywayz... heard my fav of fav song ytd during work from the cd shop juz directly opposite.... was so happy i juz took my time clearing tables and sweeping the floor coz i juz wanna listen to the song..... hahaha..... Nohing's gonna change my love for you.... by glenn medeiros.... hahaha.... tts the title of the song.... kayz!! blog till here.... gonna get back to intercultural theory reflection. Tada!!!

back back back.........

2008-05-28T08:24:00.000-07:00

Back to update my blog after like so beri beri long....lolz.... wad have i been up to from tt time.... well... been busy... really busy... after tt last post, i was busy wif sch work and work and more sch work and work.... thn came the finals where it was practically terrible for mi wif only the hols to look forward to... was so thankful when the last paper ended even though tt was the only mod i flunk and haf to retake it again tis sem bud ohwellz!!!

Thn i immersed myself wif work work work everyday except for sat and sun juz to occupy my time and to earn money to generate my account when i start the new sem.... coz my pay was so pathetic coz i din work during the mth of april becoz i couldnt afford the time to unless u count like 2-3 days as working which doesnt amount much moolahs for mi anyway.... work is gd.... it occupies the mind to be focus and to juz focus on wad is in the present....

Thn for sat and sun was busy for mi during the 3wks of hols.... first wk had chalet which i was quite bored except playing wif my lil cousin who's so adorable..... thn it was oso busy preparations for my cousin's wedding on the 2nd wk of may.....
the wedding was fun.... enjoyed myself the whole nitez.... the only spoiler was tt i was barred from staying over wif them at the hotel to drink and play wif my cousin, his bride and frenz.... felt abit unhappy at tt bud ohwells!! cant defy the decree of my parents.....
Took alot of pix during the wedding and waiting for the pix and video to be out oso..... lolz.... the combing hair tingie the nitez be4 was so farnie.... din expect i'll get to see it in real life as i've only seen it in drama serials.... hahahaha.....
Thn the 3rd week of hols...went for the s'pore flyer tingie..... took a number of pix there oso....
hahaha..... tts all for today's post... gotta go do my work alr....

updates again......

2008-04-23T08:54:00.000-07:00

Back to update my bloggie again....having a bad sore throat now.... coughing non stop since juz now.... tml's the final paper of my finals!!! yay yay yay!!!! thn is the well deserved break which i'll prolly be burning working my ass off almost everyday....lolz.... tml's the killa paper... the killa paper... i'm so gonna be dead tml... maybe i shall juz cough my way into the exam venue and prolly scare all the invigilators to postpone the exam?? hhmm.... tempting tempting bud its all wishful tinking....hahaha....

Today's papers had been alritez i guess.... except for the essay qn which i kinda crapped my way thru-- russian and chinese communist revolution.... gawd!!! i din even study that... or maybe i did but i've got no inkling wadsoeva of it....lolz... brain cells were so dead tis morning until i saw my "energy charger".... heez.... thou we were sitting different rows apart-- i was sitting at the row juz beside... bud as usual... i get to observe quietly and easily.... heez... i was like stoning thn i juz had to tilt my head and catch a glimsp of tt serious deep in thoughts cute face and i'm recharged to start doing the paper again.... i know i know... i'm being sucha idiot here.... bud my heart still beats so fast everytime i get to catch a glimps of tt cute face....

Lolz... my only consolation is tt he wun get to see my blog and noe anyting....hahaha.... and after i took out my stationaries and I.D and stood up, i came face to face with him.... the min i stood up, i saw his cute face again.... 9mths and still counting.... he has neber failed to make my heart race whenever he comes close.... lolz.... my silent confession.... only ppl who noes my blog will noe of tis post... bud not all of u noe who my "energy charger" is....lolz..... kayz.... update till here.... today is a happy day.... bought a new pair of shoes again... mummy paid for it... i lurve the shoes.... lolz... bud more thn tt pair of shoes.... I'm happy today coz I got to see him... lolz... kayz... checked my exam schedule for tml and i wun get to see him coz timing different... its otayz i guess.... today is good enuf.... heez!!! lalala.... kayz... off to memorise formulas...... hahahaha..... is there a formula to walk into ur heart??? hahahaha.... kayz, i'm tokking nonsence......

updates!!!

2008-04-18T03:52:00.000-07:00

Okiez.... i'm seriously lack of updates...lolz... coz life's been hell for mi tis past few weeks or i'm juz too zonked out to even wanna blog.... lolz.... finally!!! like finally!!! everythings been done... now its only left with the final lap( the finals ) to complete and it'll be the term break alr.... really cant wait...cant wait....
store was closed for renovations and so we were all sent out for attachments.... went for only one attachment becoz i was so busy i cldnt afford the time to put in more shifts.... took the time to rebond my hair oso last sun since store was still close for renovation... tot i had betta do it be4 store opens or when i'm having term break..... i wanna "catch back" the hrs i lost coz of sch....and anywayz... working is gd.... time pass faster and i can get to be ard ppl i like.... so i guess i'll prolly be like working almost everyday during the sem break unless ppl ask mi out....
budden there's a part of mi tt wants to disappear during the sem break for awhile....
ohwellz.... something good out of tis mundane and monotonous life i've been passing thru thou.... its making mi smile silly to myself...... wishing to capture another glance b4 i dunnoez how long..... juz a glance will do.... i dun expect much..... :) guess tts all i'll say.... alot of things are really not meant to be said here....

long needed update.....

2008-02-29T03:50:00.000-08:00

Otayz!!! I'm back to update my blog again.... its been like 1mth plus since i've last updated.... been sho sho busy wif work and sch and cny.....lolz....

Sch's been okiez.... juz alot of projects packed so close together to be completed... arghz!! cant wait for next mon to be over.... thn tts the end for my projects.... budden i've got reports to be rushed out as well... not to mention mid terms is drawing so so near....gosh!!! and i admit i've not been exactly a good student now.... haven been really studying as much as i'm expected to do... lolz.... i tink i betta get into fighting gear soon.... dunch wanna repeat any modules.... especially the much hated maths module... was kinda sotong oso.... i tot my english writing mid terms was next wed and i still hung out till the next morning on tues and even planned to go home before gg to sch in the afternoon until i met my fren at the bus stop who told mi tt the mid terms for tt module is not next wed bud tt day itself... so hengz ahz.... i din go home at all....my fren was laughing at mi the whole journey to sch.... :(

Work has been otayz so far.... been hanging out quite abit wif my store ppl tis few days and i'm enjoying every min of it.... went to catch a movie wif a fren on mon after the first project presentation.... watched "L"-change the world.... its a nice show... the lil kids are so cute....quite touching oso the show...lolz...

Life's still okiez so far i guess.... i'm torn between listening to my heart and my mind.... whenever i see tt person, i juz wanna pretend nothing happened before and talk and smile bud i know its impossible.... its making my heart ache so badly.... i know there's nothing i can do anymore..... i juz hope tt person's happy.... seeing u smile is all i ask for.... i know nothing can be done unless a barrier and a hurdle is removed.... i've been controlling for so long already.... its not whether i can bud i have to control some more.... i juz want wads best for you.... ur laughter is reward enuf....

Listening to tis song is so echoing my feelings.... tis is sucha nice song by my fav singer....

my song to you.......

2008-01-22T21:00:00.000-08:00

this song's so nice it nv fail tomake mi cry... the lyrics is so touching.... it echoed out wadeva i wanna say.... go listen to it... its really touching.... ppl who knows will understand y i say tis song is touching and meaningful....

back to sch.....

2008-01-14T22:55:00.000-08:00

Its the first day of sch... the start of a new sem, new modules and new ppl in my classes.... was kinda looking forward to the start of the sch term coz was getting kinda tired of working non stop already... the first day of sch was kinda fun.... getting to meet new ppl and meeting my frenz again.... not to mention tat the first day of sch came wif homework to be done already.... lolz.... met up wif my frenz during the pathetic 45mins break and finally got to see them and tok to them all these while ignoring a certain someone... refusing to even look in tat direction to acknowledge the presence.....tat is how jaded i've become...
Smses were sent once again by tat person.... bordering in between not replying and replying... i replied....purely for the sake of replying coz i feel tat its rude not to reply... and its kinda freaky tat everytime i start to tink of tat person.... a sms will show up on my hp by tat person... freaky isnt it...

Hurt, yes, hurt so badly.... tears?? a whole gallon and more of it... broken hearted?? u bet, a heart shattered into more thn millions of pieces... torn in between my heart and mind... its getting scary.... the nites of insomnia.... i'm worn out... and the only reason keeping mi sane all these while and not letting my heart take control is the constant reminder tat the person doesnt care nor bother wad kind of sweet heartaches tats being inflicted or already had been inflicted.... so why shld i bother to let down the sheild guarding my heart...

Bud seeing tat person happy made mi believe once again tat everything is worthwhile.... i'm glad tat person's happy.... and tis makes the sheild of my heart grow even stronger and firmer thn before.... protecting tat bleeding heart of mine from the eyes of others... tats wad i've done and still doing.... and alcohol helps loads too...

Life sux big time.... bud i still gotta make the best out of it.... coz i'm the author of my own life story.... i decide whether its going to be a tragedy or one wif a happy ending.... Tada... off to dddo some of my work....

my belated 2007 post.....

2008-01-08T23:55:00.000-08:00

Hah....back to post after so long..... had been busy working and drinking like nobody's business tis past few weeks..... countdown was great..... went drinking at indochine wif colleagues until the countdown is over thn proceeded to my cousin's place to drink some more...... got really wasted that nitez and i had to get myself to work in the afternoon..... went to work feeling uber hyper and making alot of noises...... its so good to drink without inhibitions.... the feeling of getting wasted and forgetting about everything is juz simply superb......
Was tokking nonsense wif my colleagues at indochine earlier on and was telling them abt my new yr resolution which is kinda impossible to fulfill...... i told them my new yr resolution is to be quieter.....lolz..... which seems like a difficult task..... anywayz juz a summary of my 2007..........
2007 has been a yr full of ups and downs...... i switched from a full timer back to a part timer again at work due to sch commitments...... started uni in august and i've never regretted my choice and decision for pursuing my education...... life has been filled with work work and more work...... enjoyed myself partying like crazy wif frenz and cousin alike...... emotionally it has been veri challenging for mi as well..... having to deal wif ppl who are not quite normal can prove to be a daunting task..... it has been an eventful yr especially the last 2 weeks of yr 2007 from ard x'mas time onwards...... wow..... its something i wun forget...... hah... as ppl oways say.... its a memorable x'mas for mi..... anyway there's some new yr resolutions that i plan to keep though..... lolz..... thats for mi to know and for u to find out if u wan.....
Got to know quite abit of things too..... of how i've been taken for a fool and finally realising who are true frenz indeed and who are those i can juz ignore and take them as transparent..... Hurt, yes i'm hurt..... so badly u dun even know and neither do u care.....plus i'm so uber angry...... u( different person from the 'u' mentioned above) dunch have the ritez to jugde my frenz nor call them names...... i'm fiercely protective of my frenz....... before u even wan to call them names, pls judge urself first...... wad ritez have u got to call them names.....u dun even know them well.... pls dun pretend in front of mi..... u mite be able to fool the rest bud not mi..... u can pretend in front of them bud ur disguise juz falls apart when faced to face wif mi so juz drop ur irritatingly disgusting pretense..... coz it juz irks mi to the core...... and before u even wan to backstab( sounds familiar?) my frenz..... pls ask urself wad u have done wrong and stop pushing the blame to others..... this wun be the last of it all..... hist will surely repeat itself albeit wif a different person...... and i wun even be surprised...... my advaces heartfelt condolence to whomever may be the next victim.....hah...... wadeva it is..... tis person is considered non existent to mi already......
Okiez..... i cant wait for sch to start and get back to my books coz once work gets too routine, i get bored...... i need new excitement in life...... kayz..... time to go into snooze mode now...... working early tml morn...... shall go clubbing tml nitez too..... time to get wasted again.....hah.....

merry x'mas

2007-12-25T22:30:00.000-08:00

Merry X'mas to everyone... tis is the season to be jolly and really party like there's no tml... was at my family's chalet ytd and drink drink drink.... breezers all the way.... thn all of us gathered ard to play asshole daidi and we were kinda loud...my cousins were like asking mi to silence coz they said i was making waaaayyy to much noice... and i tink the alcohol played a part... was reigning as the king for a veri veri long time until i "ta-ed" finish a bottle of breezer and was overthrown by those rebellious civilians and "assholes" to become the asshole... and i'm veri glad and happy that they all enjoyed themselves last nitez with us being like total idiots and bickering and bantering... though most of the remarks were targetted at mi to abdicate and hand over my throne to them... which i adamantly refused until tt bottle of breezer....haiz....
They could see and know that i was kinda high last nitez... coz i was making alot of noise and being a complete idiot which made them laughed even harder... bud its okiez... at least they enjoyed their x'mas eve/day... coz we played till the wee hrs of the morning before they went to slp....didnt take any pix though coz i'm not in the mood at all.... a few times i was hiding in the toilet to cry juz becoz i didnt want to affect their mood at all.... luckily they enjoyed themselves....
Life's seriously sux big time.... jaded...cynical...skeptical...died...demised...dead... tts the state of my heart now... bud no matter how much of the above-mentioned i feel... it doesnt matter to ppl anymore.... couldnt even slp at all for the past 2 days.... eventhough my heart's telling mi not to do tis bud tis is the solution to the prob... which leaves mi wif no choice.... no matter how much my heart is aching and how much my tears are flowing.... it doesnt matter.... at least i know u r happy now... which is all that matters.... u need not know or see how much i've done or will do for u... ur smile and happiness is reward in itself... there's so much i wanna say bud i cant say it here.... maybe i should disappear..... really disappear....haiz.....

Silence in solitude.... tears in multitude...

bored....

2007-12-16T12:55:00.000-08:00

back to update again... went out shopping for x'mas gifts today at bugis and i practically burnt a hole in my pocket...hahaha.... shopping really helps scaring depression away.... bought alot of things for ppl and i bought 2 tops again for myself charged under mummy dearest acct.... retail therapy oways works... now i'm hating my hair coz its so short eventhough mab darling says its okiez.... walked till my legs are aching now.... finally a day for mi to go enjoy myself... talked alot wif mab darling today while shopping too.... our 2 crazy selves as usual... coming up wif weird gift ideas etc... lolz...
thurs was the bbq day.... practically rushed thru the whole day until the start of the bbq... stayed overnitez there with the some of them... drank some more till i had a headache....went home and knocked out till its time for work....lolz....when we were at imm's taxi stand waiting for taxi, i saw him again.... tt familiar face tt brings back so many wonderful and sorrowful memories.... he still looks the same.... though he looks abit tired.... we've both been so busy tt its been quite some time since i last saw him... bud when i saw tt familiar smile on his face, i know he's getting on fine.... its tt same smile and tt gaze of his....
why izzit tt the feeling of yearning juz wun go away... why when i finally hardened my heart to let go and ignore... things will happen and make mi lose tis focus.... why izzit so painful juz to be in the one way traffic leading to the point of no return..... i know i should harden my heart and really walk away... bud i've to get over the hurdle in my heart first i guess.... and its hurting to know tt the person u hold so dear dun even care and bother...

life sux...........

2007-12-12T20:24:00.000-08:00

I finally went to chop off my hair today... and its so short now tat i cant stand it... thou iinda expected the result of it bud well,i tend to do some drastic or stupid stuff when i'm either bored, upset, angry or depressed... and so yarz, i went to chop off my long-until-above my butt hair till short until i kinda felt even more depressed after tat length. so yarz, i've got a whole yr to grow back my hair till the original length... or maybe even longer coz i'm sometimes unpridictable i'll do tings on the spur of the moment....

anywayz, been working my ass off and trying to make full use of my time and maximise it until the max so tat random stuff wun creep and invade my mind.... and i still stick by my slogan tat life is indeed a masquerade... a facade of true emotions.... maybe silence is the best solution afterall.... heck care dun care.... passivity rules when weariness seeps in....

everyday's a new learning journey of my own tat i take complete charge of... learning new tings abt new ppl and familiar faces are all part and parcel of tis journey..... the discovery of unfolding either good or bad findings are so interesting tt every new day is like a present for mi to unwrap....hhmm......

time to go and slp.....working tml morning.... tadah!!!

yay yay....

2007-12-07T02:55:00.000-08:00

Yay yay yay!!!! exams are finally over today!!!! whoohoo!!! so happy, i'm so happy..... but the papers were quite tough larz.... tats the sad ting bud anyway its over.... hahahaha..... and today was our open house.... rushed down to store straight after my exams to get ready for the event.... it was so fun.... enjoyed myself there eventhough it was kinda farnie how ppl were like staring at us making a din outside store...... hahahaha....... bud it was a fun 2hr shift... lolz....
after tat kinda juz slacked around in store... too tired to move my butt.... hahaha.... thn went down for mahjong session after tat....hahaha.... i finally won my first game today.... hahaha.... bud i've only played twice only larz... hahahaha....
i wanna go dancing.... muz burn off all those fats i've been gaining during the exam period...hahahaha.... coz eat too much liaoz...
and its a gd idea to go dancing at zouk or mos and can drink at the same time.... thn can dun tink so much.... too much stuff is going thru my mind now.... i'm terrified, i'm afraid, i'm lost and i dunnoez wad to do.... i've been burying it for some time already.... is it real or its juz my fantasy i really have no idea.... i've sunk too deep in and i dunnoesz how to get out of it... bud truth be told, i kinda wish it is real... thn it wld be so wonderful... arghz!!!
wadeva it is.... i'll leave it to fate larz.... bud you'll always be my super number 1.... :)

back for updates.

2007-12-04T23:59:00.000-08:00

Back for a quick update in the midst of my hectic schedule....hahahaha.... it sounds as if i'm sucha busy person... which is quite true, considering that i'm now in the midst of my final exams... and my blog is not dead horz... hahaha.... it has been quite an eventful time since the last time i updated my blog.... lots of things have been happening and it kinda made mi wonder and ponder....
And my EC talked to mi today!!!! so happy!!! hahaha... after so so so long.... of mi juz admiring from a distance, EC finally came up to mi and talked to mi.... hahahaa.... i'm shy larz, and so passive... lolz...
Feeling like i'm sitting in a rollercoaster ritez now.... lost in thoughts and emotions... its scaring mi.... i dun wan it to come anymore closer.... i dun wan to be tis vulnerable.... bud its hurting loads....missing the look in ur eyes...missing the smile that lights up gray skies...missing the voice that sung in my sight... missing every single thing and moments spent... its sucha blessing i thank god for...

this video is so nice.... i mean the song.... its a song that i promised i'll sing for someone... a promise i've not forgotten...

http://http:www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnihZMgqKpU

so confused...should i or should i not???

updates!!!!

2007-11-17T23:59:00.000-08:00

hah!! back to update!! since i lost my voice again and cant tok... i shall 'tok' here.... lolz.... been sick for the past few days.... sleeping like a pig.... cant seem to get myself out of bed.... not to mention shivering under my comforter eventhough i din on the fan or air con... arghz!! kinda feeling drowsy now.... the medicine's taking effect.... lolz.... went to do some online quiz tingie.... hahaha..... for fun coz i boh liaoz.... lolz.....
was listening to a number of songs.... hahaha..... tis one song struck my heart thou...... it seems to be singing out my feelings and thoughts..... veri nice song.....

Hugh Grant - Way Back Into Love lyrics
[Verse 1]
(Drew Barrymore)
I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on!
(Hugh Grant)
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
Just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!
[Chorus]
(Both)All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.Oooooh.
[Verse 2]
(Drew Barrymore)I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine, I've been searching but i just don't see the signs,
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere!
(Hugh Grant)
I've been looking for someone to shed some light,
Not somebody just to get me through the night,
I could use some direction,
And I'm open to your suggestions.
[Chorus](Both)All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!
Oooooooh, Ooooooh, Ooooooh.
[Middle-eight](Drew Barrymore)
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
[Chorus](Both)All I want to do is find a way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love,
And if I open my heart to you,
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,
And if you help me to start again,
You know that I'll be there for you in the end!
Oooooooh. Oooooooh. Ooooooooh. Oooooooh. Ooooooh Ooooooooh. Ooooooooh.

hahaha..... yupz yupz..... its tis song..... nice song.... meaningful lyrics.... still got a few more others larz.... bud i'm lazy to put up.... hahaha.... put up the most impactful one can liaoz..... kayz.... really drowsy liaoz..... blog till here..... tml still gotta study.... hahaha..... i wan my voice back!!!! i miss my voice!!!!

updates........

2007-11-11T04:56:00.000-08:00

finally got the time to update my blog again....hahaha.... after almost 2 weeks of hell.... finally, there's some time for mi to breathe.... alil.... coz i still have essay and portfolio to hand in next week.....which is like tml and tues..... arghz!!! i cant wait for term break.... lolz.... which is in abt 3 weeks time or so...... but tis means finals is drawing veri veri near.... in another 2 weeks time i guess..... haiz....
went to watch the bee movie on thurs and the movie is nice..... the bee is so cute larz.... hahahaha...... had wanted to watch stardust bud the tix were all sold out except the first row and we din want to wait until the next time slot which was at 9plus.... hahaha...... fri went to meet my kor and gf for dinner thn headed down to sing karaoke until his frenz came thn i left.... hahaha..... coz need to go home and do homework.... haiz..... bud i enjoyed myself..... kor kor was his idiotic self as usual..... making mi laugh all the time.....something he feels proud of..... hahaha.......
was working ytd and went out after tat for awhile..... thn home.... hahaha.......stayed home the whole day today except to buy dinner and to trim my hair..... hahahaha.......... have been thinking alot alot alot........seeing things happening around mi to people i care and things which i've been hearing thru them.... it makes mi think.... alot alot.....
mummy is finally back from HK...... she bought alot alot alot of things for mi...... she bought mi clothes..... bags..... shoes.....and the wine i wanted to try.....hahaha..... yay!!!!
kayz.... blog till here..... gotta go back to doing my portfolio liaoz..... hahaha........ tada!!!

gambatei...........

2007-10-28T07:29:00.000-07:00

Arghz!!! juz realised that i've got tons of work to be handed in and done with by the end of tis coming week.... gosh.... there's journal to be written, essays to be handed up, project presentation to be dealt with, comp sci assignment to hand in plus a test, portfolio to hand in, omg!!! tis week is really can die week, as stated by someone... hahaha.... and i'm ssooo tired tired tired.... worked from 4-3.30am ytd and i reached home at 5am in the morning.... slept ard 5.30am and mummy woke mi up at 10am to go for the lunchy tingie with them and the relatives.... okiez larz... food was nice... bud all i wished for was a bed for mi to slp... hahaha.... the whole tingie lasted until 3plus 4pm... reached home and went online to attempt to do some work budden i ended up falling onto my bed to sleep....hahahaha....
okiez.... randomness.... i'm still sleepy.... bud i still hafta complete an essay and journal before i could sleep.... and comp sci is html... wad the.... i dunch even know how to get that tingie done.... lolz....
arghz!!! really need to gambatei!!!! go go jia you!!! go go jia you!!!

freeze, froze, frozen....

2007-10-21T22:05:00.000-07:00

Omg... i've finally endured the whole weekend at work and trying to rush out my assignment and squeeze in a teeny weeny bit of studying.... i've been ssooo busy the whole weekend.... bud tis is good.... at least it keeps my mind occupied.... more things to do is gd.... i wun have time even for myself to even think abt stuff which i dun wanna tink bud cant help thinking if i've free time to myself.... rushed home after work ytd to finish up my essay and gosh, i finished the whole tingie at 4.30am in the morning.... fell onto my bed bud i still couldnt get to slp until my alarm rang to signal mi that i've gotta wake up for sch already.... gee!!! this means i din slp at all the whole nitez.... somehow or rather i had this premonition that something was going to happen.... was listening to these 3 songs on repeat mode last nitez while doing my essay--- bei pan by cao ge....fang shen by fan yi chen..... holding on by jay sean..... so can u imagine it was on repeat mode for almost 4hrs while i was rushing out my essay..... thank god its finally done.....
but the next essay assignment is up..... juz got it today after we handed in our 2nd essay..... kanasai.... cant the lecturer give us a break before killing us again.....

I saw sunshine again when i saw u....
I got to know love again when i knew u.....
teach mi how to forget u.....
coz i dun wanna lose u.....
i keep falling day after day....
head over heels in love with u.....
not even words can summarise....
how deep i've fallen for u.....
but its of no use now....
coz to u i'm not even worthy...
i'm juz like a speck of dust to u.....

died.... dead.... deceased....

2007-10-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired today!! Didnt sleep well last nitez... din really slp much coz i juz couldnt get to slp... tis morning had to wake up early to do opening... and we were down by 2 ppl... so it was juz mi, another colleague and the manager... until someone came in to 'save the day'... lolz...
Kinda dead ritez now... i dun wanna do anithing except to disappear... i dun even wanna tink... sometimes when ego and pride overclouds the mind... an imaginary shield juz forms to protect and hide urself... not wanting to show the innermost feelings and emotions of vulnerability... i hate myself for sinking into this kind of situation again, hadnt i learnt my lesson from the first time... why did i allow my heart to get out from its grave to see sunlight again???
I've fallen too hard now...
you've captured my heart...
longing to whisper to you....
i'll be loving you...
with every breathe i take....

wasted....

2007-10-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

Was busy the whole day msging and msging... lolz... my hp started the day wif half batt and in like 3-4 hrs it was almost flat... had to conserve batt like crazy till i went store for work... eeekkzz!!! lolz... was out till quite late ytd... went town wif my fren and we ended up at balcony coz we were so bored of walking ard town...
today went to kbox wif some frenz and we stayed there for quite some time... i was practically freezing inside there... i tink their air con's free or something... too bad i had to work or i could have joined them shopping.... :( sad sad...

There's nothing special about mi...
I'm juz a little star...
obscure and unworthy in ur eyes...
so close yet it seems like a million miles apart...
If only the distance can tell you...
How much it represents...
The depth of my love for you and how much i miss you...
Reality dealt me a slap...
Autumn's melancholy sings...
welcoming winter's frost...
my heart it froze...
not even summer's heat can melt...
the only medicine is your love...

so jaded.........

2007-10-11T03:02:00.000-07:00

Went to sch today wif a fever and flu... practically stoned in lecture today... cant concentrate at all... had fun tokking crap with the rest today before i left... lolz... today is kor kor's b'day... happy b'day kor kor!!! my beloved kor kor who's always there for mi and doting mi... the one who knows mi even w/o mi saying anything at all...
kayz.... i'm bored... i'm sick... i wanna say alot of things bud i cant say.... i wanna mia.... can i.... juz a random entry...
juz a random qn... do u believe that eternity exist??? i believe it does... even if it means not having that person by my side... eternity exist becoz the person resides in my heart... and everyday is like eternity even if it means juz seeing that person for awhile everyday... the memory of seeing the person's smile and laughter everyday is eternity...even if the person doesnt know u exist...
If loving u means letting u go, i'll gladly do so becoz i love u...

r/s...

2007-10-09T08:29:00.000-07:00

Yay!!! one more paper down... another 2 more to go!!! yay yay yay!!! had alil shopping spree today... went walking ard jp while waiting for someone and before going to give tuition... bought a top... had wanted to get one more bud too bad they dun have my size... the one i tried was too big... lolz... so i ended up buying only one top... lolz... felt abit happier... lolz...
Was talking to my fren ytd and we chatted abt the topic on long distance r/s...my fren was saying something along the lines of ' isnt it terrible when u need that person to be there physically to comfort u bud he/she cant be there coz of the distance'... i said true... bud the distance is a test for the r/s and absence does makes the heart grow fonder or does the distance makes it grow further apart?? i guess being long distance apart is still okiez becoz at least u can still talk on the phone or skype... isnt it more heartbreaking if the person u love is juz beside u bud ur existence is almost zilch in his/her eyes and that the person doesnt even care whether u're alive or dead... or that when the person u love finally realised that u've of no value to them anymore... to keep them company etc and u're finally put into 'cold storage'... which is worse??
haiz... so tired... drank like 3 espresso shots today bud i'm still sleepy.... lolz.... gosh... i'm sucha pig.... kayz... gotta go study for zeros and ones and zeros and more zeros... lolz...

jaded yet again...

2007-10-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

juz got back home from the clinic...hah.. now only my 4th finger is in bandage... the other 2 is free to see daylight again...lolz... the other one is still omg... listening to the song 'holding on' again... it juz melts my heart... can juz relate to tis song... was at work today... feeling so tired... juz wished that i can disappear... mia to somewhere else where no one can find mi... maybe i should make that my aim... lolz... there's so much inside that i wanna say... so much inside that i wanna show bud i know i cant...i wouldnt... i can only mask it wif a smile and laugh...maybe it has all become a habit... smiling and laughing has become my way of hiding my pain, my sorrow and my tears... that only my kor kor understands...
kayz, gotta go study already... blog till here...

jaded........

2007-10-06T12:49:00.000-07:00

hahaha... blogging at tis hr of the morning... juz got back home not long ago... was working and went to meet a fren to makan tog thn head home...was crapping juz now... listening to songs now... tis 2 songs that makes my heart weep silently...'holding on' and 'fang sheng'... still got a few more bud dun wanna listen to that much... lolz... i'd betta get down to studying abit before i sleep or i'm so gonna be dead for my mid terms... haiz... why why why!!!! why is mid terms here so fast!!! work was fun ytd and today... felt like its been a long time since i last worked when its only 1 week that i've nv worked... miss the busy busy crowd and the people there... bud i miss someone more... thurs went to chiong wif my fren and met another fren there... had lotsa fun... it was my first time at that club... lolz... bud on fri i nearly died... of exhaustion... hahaha... reached home ard 6pm and slept all the way till this morning 10.30am... really pig sia... so i've gotta pia already... lolz...
kayz thn... blog till here... going to study thn slp already... so that i can think of someone... hahahaha...

tired.....

2007-10-04T00:47:00.000-07:00

Its been a super tiring week for mi up till tis point... been sleeping only like a max of 4hrs per day... and surviving on coffee everyday to keep mi awake...hahahaha...blogging now and eating potato chips...and i'm home early... coz... ahem ahem..lolz.. if u get it thn gd lorz..heez...today marks the start of mid terms... its like so fast, i've only been there for like 1mth plus and its already mid terms... arghz!! cant they juz slow down, i cant process everything so fast lehz... lolz... been listening to this ching chong chiang( chinese ) song everyday, kor kor, ur fault, intro mi to this nice song, lolz.... bud the lyrics are really touching... I'm craving for doughnuts and starburst!!! lolz.... kayz... juz got back my maths quiz... kanasai larz... i did soooo badly... and i studied lorz... haiz...
Been quite happy this week coz someone juz makes mi happy... from the words and actions... can talk cock, sing song, play ping pong tog... hahahaha... i'm juz being lame...kayz, i'm going to lalala land.... so tired... gonna slp for awhile... and think of someone dear in my heart... :)my fren intro-ed mi this veri nice song ytd... kinda like the lyrics coz it speaks to my heart...

"Holding On"

How'd I let it get this far

What was going through my mind

Why'd you seem to have it all

Yet you're not mine

Started off as just good friends

Still we always step the line

Coz falling for you was so easy

Ohh..

You're everything I want

You're everything I need

You're everything I want my girl to be

And even though I know

You're in someone else's heart

I can't bare to be apart

See I've fallen for you

And I've gotta let you go

And I know that I have got to

Find a way to get on with my life

I don't wanna let you go (let you go)

But it's killing me inside (inside)

How can I just carry on

I need some piece of mind (need some piece of mind)

How do I just move along (along)

And ignore the love so strong (so strong)

So until I see this through

I'll be holding on to you

How'd I let it get this far

What was going through my mind

Why'd you seem to have it all

Yet you're not mine

Started off as just good friends

Still we always step the line

Coz falling for you was so easy

Ohh..

You're everything I want

You're everything I need

You're everything I want my girl to be

And even though I know

You're in someone else's heart

I can't bare to be apart

See I've fallen for you

And I've gotta let you go

And I know that I have got to

Find a way to get on with my life

I don't wanna let you go (let you go)

But it's killing me inside (inside)

How can I just carry on

I need some piece of mind (need some piece of mind)

How do I just move along (along)

And ignore the love so strong (so strong)

So until I see this through

I'll be holding on to you

To you... baby...

Throughout the years with her I've tried

To find the joy beyond the pain

But when the words and tears subside

Girl it's still the same

And I can't look into her eyes

Without thinking about you

See I've tried but these feelings won't leave me

No....

You're everything I want

You're everything I dream

You're everything I want my girl to be

And even though I know

You're in someone else's arms

I can't bare to be apart

See girl I fell for you

And I don't wanna say goodbye

And I know that I have got to

Find a way to get on with my life

I don't wanna let you go

But it's killing me inside

How can I just carry on (how can I)

I need some piece of mind (piece of mind)

How do I just move along

And ignore the love so strong (so strong)

So until I see this through

I'll be holding on to you

I look away when he holds you

For I'm afraid that I might find

The look in your eyes

That I see when you were mine

So tell me why I've got to be

The one to walk away

And leave you there in someone else's arms

(Won't let you go away)

I don't wanna let you go

But it's killing me inside (killing me inside)

How can I just carry on (how can I)

I need some piece of mind

How do I just move along

And ignore the love so strong

So until I see this through (till I...till I)

I'll be holding on to you

Throughout the years with her

I've triedTo find the joy beyond the pain

But when the words and tears subside

Girl it's still the same

And I can't look into her eyes

Without thinking about you

See I've tried but these feelings won't leave me

No....

You're everything I want

You're everything I dream

You're everything I want my girl to be

And even though I know

You're in someone else's arms

I can't bare to be apart

See girl I fell for you

And I don't wanna say goodbye

And I know that I have got to

Find a way to get on with my life

I don't wanna let you go

But it's killing me inside

How can I just carry on (how can I)

I need some piece of mind (piece of mind)

How do I just move along

And ignore the love so strong (so strong)

So until I see this through

I'll be holding on to you

I look away when he holds you

For I'm afraid that I might find

The look in your eyes

That I see when you were mine

So tell me why I've got to be

The one to walk away

And leave you there in someone else's arms

(Won't let you go away)

I don't wanna let you go

But it's killing me inside (killing me inside)

How can I just carry on (how can I)

I need some piece of mind

How do I just move along

And ignore the love so strong

So until I see this through (till I...till I)

I'll be holding on to you

lolz... the lyrics abit long bud veri meaningful... how it juz speaks to my heart....

back again

2007-09-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

Opps!!! juz did something stupid...hahaha... added the title and clicked enter... so dotz... on 3 days mc... sianz... dunnoez wad to do... so decided to get down to studying...lolz...nothing much happened today... took medicine and basically slept the whole day.... woke up only ard 9plus to watch tv and do homework... lolz... and take dinner...hahahaha... wad an interesting day... hahaha.... my hands feel numb... hahahha.... tis is kinda like a random post... juz felt like writing again... in my little book of poems.... hahaha... kinda fell for tis song... arghz... maybe coz i've been hearing it and the lyrics caught my attention....

Little Star

There is nothing special about me..
I am just a little star..
If it seems like I'm shining...
It's probably a reflection of something you already are...
I forget about myself sometime...
When there's so many others around...
When deep inside you feels darkest...
That is where I can always be found..
That is where I can always be found...
That is where I can always be found...
Just keep try it and try it...
It's just a matter of timing...
Though the grinding is tiring...
Don't let it stop you from smiling...
Just keep try it and try it...
Sooner of later you'll find it...
It's surprising how inspiring...
It is to see you shining...
'Cause in the dark of the night you're all I can see..
And you sure look like a star to me...
There is nothing special about me...
I am just a little star...
If you try to reach out and touch me...
You'll see that - I'm not really that far...
Oh, I may not be the brightest, nor am I the last one you’ll see...
But as long as you notice, that’s just fine with me...
Everything’s just fine with me...
Everything’s just fine with me...
Just keep try it and try it...
It's just a matter of timing...
Though the grinding is tiring...
Don't let it stop you from smiling...
Just keep try it and try it...
Sooner of later you'll find it...
It's surprising how inspiring...
It is to see you shining...
'Cause in the dark of the night you're all I can see...
And you sure look like a star to me...
There is nothing special about me...
I am just a little star...
I’ve been running and jumping, but barely...
Getting, getting over the bar...
I plan on being much more than I am but that's in do time...
But until then I'm guilty, and being human's my crime...
Being human that is my crime...
Being human that is my crime...
Just keep try it and try it....
It's just a matter of timing....
Though the grinding is tiring...
Don't let it stop you from smiling...
Just keep try it and try it...
Sooner of later you'll find it...
It's surprising how inspiring....
It is to see you shining...
'Cause in the dark of the night you're all I can see...
And you sure look like a star to me...

Its a nice song.... kayz, tis post is really random and my hands hurt...

my blog is revived....

2007-09-27T04:05:00.000-07:00

I'm back to revive my blog.... i know its been a long long time since i've last updated... well... alot of things have been happening ard mi since my last entry here.... cried alot... laughed alot... been hurt, been touched, been happy.... and i've never regretted ani decisions i've made along this road.... i juz hope for the people around mi to be happy.... though i'm not the sort who'll verbalise it to anyone except a few.... sch has started for mi.... been happy to be able to go back to sch and study.... its been an eventful 1 mth since sch started.... eventhough tis means tat i cant work tat much often already.... lolx.... tis means a huge cut in finances.... lolx....
Sch aside.... which has been quite hectic, bud fun, life's been pretty much a roller coaster ride for mi....

Amongst the sea of faces...

through the schemes of others...

pebbles and stones are scattered...

its in heaven i find my shelter....

Laughter and Joy abounds...

No sorrow and tears could hound....

painting colours to my life....

You're the angel that i've found...

Confessions through this poem...

my dilemma summarized....

feelings of catharsis....

will it lead to my demise??

Juz had the urge to write again.... maybe only through writtings can i express freely how i really feel.... kayz, this shall be the end of my 'first' entry after a long hiatus....

tired...

2007-06-18T08:50:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired.... tis past few days wa spent at gw tidying the store and getting it ready for the opening tml.... kinda excited abt it... the verismo is so so so high larx, i cant even see wads on top except the bean hoppers sticking out.... gw is nice, i mean the store, and i found kenny roger's there too, its been a long time since i've last ate kenny rogers and it was with him.... kayz, shall not get emo here.... hahhaha....
someone's arguing at the opposite blk, its so loud i can hear it from my room.... and he's spewing all vulgarities, so irritating.... and the weather is killing mi, its so humid.... thank god for air cons... working tml at 12.30pm at gw, my first shift there and its opening day... hahahha.... and i hurt myself today doing the stocks.... kanasai.... cut my leg and there's a huge blue black on my feet.... arghz... and i bumped my head while putting the evian water on the rack.... wad the heck... and daryl msged mi so early in the morning juz to ask mi to tok to him and entertain him coz he's bored.... i was still in lala land.... i din call him in the end and we chatted thru sms.... hahaha.... at least can take the interval to continue slping.... hahha.... and i've been having stomach upset the whole day today.... it sux..... keep going to the toilet.... wad the heck..... today had been sucha eventful day..... hahahaha.... cant wait for thurs outing.... hahaha..... kayz... shall end here....

lalalala

2007-06-17T08:38:00.000-07:00

Lalalala.... i'm back to blog.... i'm hyper now... which is no gd coz tml i've to wake up early to go gw.... stocks coming early..... so excited to open sb-gw on tues....hahahaha..... bud i still wanna go back LT... finally the laptop can be used... after having a huge headache over it... you see, i'm seriously a computer idiot.... hahahaha..... work has been okiez... bud i'm bored.... i wan some excitement in life....hahhaha..... went to watch ocean's 13 wif some frenz ytd.... and boy, i had to rush up and down.... the show is nice.... i like.... lalalaala.... see i'm hyper, and my store manager juz said that i'm a firealam coz i talk way to much and my voice is high pitched.... and i juz laugh and laugh.... bud its gd, i can help to save ppl's life.... hahahhaa..... laalalaa..... kayz... shall blog till here....

life's shitty...

2007-05-21T02:39:00.000-07:00

Back to blog after a long long time...the past few days was spent crying in my room at nitez... been feeling really down and terrible, things are juz not going well at all... alot of things are juz testing my patience and my ability to be strong...received the letter from ntu last fri confirming that they rejected me... and nus's letter of rejection will be coming soon too... it kinda juz added on to my emo mood and i have been trying my veri best to not show my sadness bud i guess when u're juz down, all the bad stuff juz hits u one by one at the same time... how i wish i can juz disappear... seeking comfort in solitude...
Been talking to god and asking him for answers and help... everything seems so bleak... but god is a wonderful god... been feeling so upset bud god reminded me thru a song that he(god) will make a way, where there seems to be no way... it's this song that's been keeping me going this past few days, becoz i believe that my god will make a way for me...
Went to sim juz now to hand in my application form, the course seriously cost a bomb...kayz, blog till here.....

2007-05-14T02:48:00.001-07:00

lalalalala.... I'm using someone's laptop to blog in store.... hahahaha..... someone complained that its been a long time since i last blogged...so here i am blogging.... actually there's alot of things going on inside my head ritez now and i dunnoez where and how i should go about blogging.... went out with maggie to watch A midsummer nitez dream at fort canning and it was so fun and nice.... kinda had fun bonding with her after so long.... bud too bad i only had 2 tix if not could have asked more ppl to watch... feeling emo emo now.... the store is so noisy.... i juz ended work not long...lalalala... kayz, i've blogged..... hahahaz....

random random.........

2007-04-29T01:30:00.001-07:00

Hah, finally found the mood to blog again... I lost my voice for the whole week since monday... I practically couldnt talk at all... nobody could hear me unless they come up close to me, and i was coughing like mad too...the medication made me slept like a piggie too... i haven slept for so much in a long long time... and so i was so happy to finally get my voice back ytd although it sounded kinda weird and horrible...
My comp is still spoilt... he finally msged me today to tell me that he'll come down on labour day to my place to fix my comp for me... yay... my mummy woke me up early today to have lunch together as a family... mummy brought us to this restaurant to have lunch... but she forbade me to drink cold drinks... yikes... coz i'm still coughing... bud the food there is nice, i like...
The feeling i dislike is coming back again.... filled with uncertainties and answers yet known, thrown into darkness i totally dislike this feeling... so messed up... alot of things but i cant say it here... but i will find a way out of it... it wun get me down...but sometimes, i juz wish that someone will be there for me to lean on for support...
enuf of such solemn writings, gonna go shopping....teehee...

sick...i'm sick...

2007-04-20T03:24:00.001-07:00

I'm off today...yayz...outside shopping now and sitting at the internet cafe blogging... I'm sick...bud i dun care...hahaha...having fever now and losing my voice soon...Laselle told me to go for portfolio class... and so i'm going coz i know my portfolio was done badly... i kinda juz threw everything into a file and went for the interview... and i freaked out during the interview too... sooo many many ppl there...hahaha...
And tml i'm doing opening... this means i cant stay out late today.... sighz... and its friday...bud i have to go home and get my beauty slp or tml i'll be a walking zombie...hahaha...
Luckily for my fav chocos to brighten up my day.... hahaha.... i'm talking nonsense now... bud i dun care... i wanna go singing... singing singing singing....lalalalala..... kayz... shall end here.... this is kind of a random post...

yawnz.....

2007-04-13T00:35:00.001-07:00

Yawnz...I'm sooo tired... had to wake up so early today juz to return a blender that i totally forgot to return ytd...i'm juz so forgetful...and its raining and raining..juz the ritez weather to snuggle under the comforter and hug my pooh bear to slp bud i can't coz tml's my interview and my portfolio's still not done...and i'm still outside...will go home later to complete it... I need my coffee coz i'm yawning continously... ohz gawd...
I'm now sitting at the internet cafe at far east and blogging away and checking my stuff... THEY ARE PLAYING MY FAV SONG... so happy so happy... it'll be a uber busy day for me tml...luckily i've got transport back home else i'll die carrying a huge bag out tml...lalalala...
kayz...blog till here...gonna go do my stuff...shall end the entry with the lyrics of my fav fav fav song... :)

NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE
MY LOVE FOR YOU
by Glenn Medeiros

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long

With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Chorus:
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by know how much I LOVE YOU
The world may change my whole life thru but
NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE MY LOVE FOR YOU

If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star

I'll be there for you
If you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are

So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you(Chorus)

tired out........

2007-04-04T19:02:00.001-07:00

Whee!!! using my cousin's comp now in his room to blog and check my stuffs...he's resting on the bed behind me...wad a pig...wahahaha...he was playing world of warcraft juz now while i was happily slping... was out the whole day ytd with him and his gf at kbox singing and drinking... we challenged to drink the beer in one breathe bud apparently i cant coz i cant stand gassy drinks...i downed it in like 3-4 mouthfuls...lalala... was still quite sober so we went for supper and thn back to his place to chat... my cousin understands me best...even w/o me saying anything he knows wad i'm thinking and how i'm feeling... lucky me...heez... was chatting with them until like 5plus in the morning before we hit the sack... my cousin slept on the floor and let me have the bed...poor thing bud he said its betta thn the mud in tekong...hah...he dotes on me in his own little ways...He dedicated a song and sang it to me last nitez...by li sheng jie its called wo dong le ta( i understand her)... go listen to it.. its nice...he sang tat to mi coz he understands mi..lalala...
Sometimes its gd to juz have someone who understands you so much by ur side... i'm lucky to have tat person which is my cousin... someone whom you can also tok cock, sing song, play ping pong tog...hahaha...
He said i was kinda high after the beer last nitez bud i'm still sober... okiez larx, maybe abit high...feeling like i'm on a merry-go-round ride...i juz dun wanna think abt it... so complicated bud sometimes there are things which u juz cant ignore...haiz...dun wan to think liaoz larx...blog again soon.. gotta go home liaoz...before tat go eat dinner first, hungry... craving for chicken rice...

tired out........

2007-04-04T19:02:00.000-07:00

lalalalala

2007-03-28T03:43:00.001-07:00

I'm soooo tired...i juz wanna close my eyes and enter dreamland so badly...and i'm back in the same internet cafe at far east typing out this entry...coz my comp died and daddy intends to buy a new one...shall ask him to get mi a lappy instead-the pink colour lappy-sorie i forgot how to spell the name, its so confusing bud its pink-purrfect, and i lurve it so much...
My energy is kinda zapped out this past few days...and monday was daryl's b'day...he dropped by store, so happy to see him...been feeling veri emo emo this past few days...quieter thn usual... thinking of alot of things... not eating well at all... maybe i should juz forget it... really... and today is maggie's b'day...happy happy b'day to you...sorie i couldnt meet up with you today... and fri will be having a chalet at changi, my ex-bf's b'day...
kinda brain dead now... i juz want my bed and pooh bear and snuggle under my pooh comforter to slp...warm and comfy...lalalala....
kayz, blog till here...tata...

moody moody gal

2007-03-24T04:36:00.001-07:00

Was out the whole day wif mummy and sis...bonding time like this is getting rare coz i'm oways working... went to far east to get stuff before going to taka coz my sis wanted to buy things from there.. thn we headed down to store coz i told them i buy them drinks and my sis was sooooo happie...whee!!!
The whole week had been okiez... i mean juz okiez... been trying to rush out some designs for my portfolio and i'm beginning to feel stressed out bud i lurve it coz it keeps me occupied and i wun have time to let my mind wander again... its no gd ya know... my mind has been wandering alot... i mean seriously and really alot... been feeling quite down as well this past few days bud only my diary will know wad isit all about... been thinking and thinking and some stuff kinda shocked me... coz it nv occured to me that i will start thinking of it in that manner... i think i'm going crazy, coz i wld be crazy if i start thinking that way...someone pls call IMH...wahahaha..no no no... i have a feeling my heart's ruling my brain now.. bud both my heart and brain are thinking the same...there's no denying it... i know it... it has happened before...darn, kayz, guess i'm revealing too much here...and i suddenly suddenly thought of this phrase again--life is bud a masquerade, a facade of true emotions...how true, how true!!! i'm being too emo here, and its no gd, no gd...hahahaha...
And i'm sitting in an internet cafe at far east typing all this crap out coz my comp crashed on me again... and i'm comp-less... :( sob sob sob... the tears are so real ( for some other reason)... see, i'm not making sense..wahahaha...
think thats enuf crap for the day...hahahaha...

lalalalalala

2007-03-16T23:30:00.000-07:00

Lalalalala......... I am back to my pinkish bloggie........This whole week is so packed........... and i'm so broke i cant go anywhere........ Was off on monday and i practically slept the whole day before receiving a call from someone asking mi to go out for supper..........hehehe....... so at 9plus i went out to store to meet them for supper till ard 4plus the next morning......... wahahahaha.......... and i was 'tormented and tortured' for that period of time incessantly by someone........ >.<
Than i worked and worked and worked for the next 3 days before having a break today........ ended work at 8plus ytd and rushed down to heeren to get some supplies for my portfolio......... received a call from laselle on tues to go for interview and i am seriously freaked out coz i dun think i can draw for nuts and i hafta come out with at least 10 pieces of artwork for my portfolio........ Arghz........... Athena ( the goddess of wisdom ) pls save me!!!! pretty pls save me!!!
Than i went back to store to wait for the peak period to pass before going home and ended up staying till closing time........ Had a lot of fun and i learnt something new also.......wahahaha....... ehz..... more than one thing larx........hahahahaha..........
Today is my off day bud i woke up quite early......... brought my sis to have a haircut which took so long coz her hair is so thick........ thn the maid brought her home and i went down to town to source for some more supplies and to shop ard for awhile........ heeheeeheee.......... after realising that i've spent far too much time in town, i hurried down to jurong to attend for cousin's b'day celebration........ and as usual my elder cousin disturbed mi continuously like 'ahem' someone....... bud it was fun.......... watched my cousin kenna sabo-ed by her frenz which was farnie...... drank as usual with them before going home........see........ so busy even on my off days.........wahahahaha............... sometimes its gd larx........ hehehehe..........
thinking of alot of stuff bud shall write it another day......... now its off to lalala land for mi......... hafta work tml......... tata.........

rollercoaster ride of my life........

2007-03-06T03:33:00.001-08:00

Kayz. its really been a long time since i updated my blog......... CNY came and went juz liddat...... collected not as much as last yr though...... it seems that as u age, the ang pows become lesser too....... hahahaha......... work is pretty much the same.. nothing much......... monotonous......... hahaha.........
Got back my results last friday......... it was terrible and horrible......... i checked it online during my work break and kinda lost the mood to work........ i cried again...... coz results were atrocious...... failed econs again...... bud hist improved by one grade....... so i only passed lit, hist and gp and MT......... so i was in a super duper lousy mood on fri......... din wanted to go down for the chalet bud my cousin and gf called mi and asked mi to go down so i went....... cheered up when i saw them....... bud not for long....... drank on sat nitez after the bbq........got really high and drunk....... its the 2nd time i vomitted as a result of drinking....... woke up feeling so groggy and having a really bad hangover......... went home and fell fast aslp..... had to work the next day...... and was out after work to settle some stuffs........ kinda feel like i'm having a rollercoaster ride...... and a tornado juz hit....... lots of things juz got out of hand........ lots of surprises as well........ din really slp at all last nitez.........
Sometimes i wonder wad brings ppl tog......... fate or luv........ bud when luv meets fate..... will it be dead??? anger and hatred occurs........ uncontrollable tears are shed......... its so scary....... feeling veri confused ritez now.......... lots of things going on....... and this means lots of new experiences to be learnt and it'll make me an even stronger gal......... :)
And i applied for ntu, nie and laselle already.......... waiting to apply for nus and thn all i can do is cross my fingers and pray for the best......... heez............ kekez......... blog again soon. tatata..........

back back back.........

2007-02-22T21:45:00.000-08:00

I am back to update juz in case u guys think that i've abandoned my blog.......Nooooooo........ i have not........ have been really busy with work and other things to really sit down in front of my comp to update......... see.... i'm either working at nitez until the wee morning of the next day and feeling totally exhausted to even wanna wake up until its time for work again or i'm working in the morning till i'm so tired all i wanna do is sit in front of the couch and not budge or i'm out catching up with frenz..... which explains why my blog was left in cold storage for some time....... Ahhhzz....... not to mention for a fact that my comp crashed too and i had to wait for someone to repair it for mi which was like 2 weeks later........ hahahahaha..........
V'day came and went........ i din get to see him ever since 31st of jan until now....... was out with my fren on v'day to celebrate........ ended up at indochine for awhile before going home coz i am opening the next day....... she bought a pink rose for mi coz pink is my fav colour........ so sweet...... hahahaha.........
New year came and went juz like that......... cannot really feel the new year spirit this year....... coz it came and went too fast........ as usual had reunion dinner at home with my aunt and family coming over to join us........ thn new yr was spent visting relatives and having a short gambling session...... i played for awhile thn form a alliance with my mum.... hahahaaha........ thn it was back to work work work again........
And results are coming out real soon....... i am so anxious.....scared......frightened and freaked out....... i worry worry worry abt it......... ohz yahz.. bought a new hp today as my beloved hp decided to sleep forever........ bought the sony ericsson w810i....... and i'm broke till pay day....... din wanna ask my parents to pay for the hp so i'm really broke.......hahaha..... kekez........
update again when i'm free..........lalalaalala

updates!!!

2007-01-02T21:55:00.000-08:00

I'm back to update my blog again........ went to taiwan and seriously fell in love with the place...... i wanna go back there again..... it was so cold over there and i was still freezing under 3 layers of clothes that made mi look fat...... kays, i know i'm not even thin to begin with bud it made mi look bloated..... bud i lurve the place....... i wanna go back to taiwan again........ hhmm...... maybe go there with my boyfren the next time round thn can go to the famous lover's bridge again together together....... heez!!! i lurve that bridge.. the view from the bridge is sssooooo beautiful........ Oo...... had a mini shopping spree over there coz we joined a touor group and thus din have much time to shop around....... and i din get to see a vcd shop there coz i wanted to buy lotsa taiwan idol dramas back to watch....... see...... i'm sucha couch potato...... okiez..... i'm babbling rubbish now........
X'mas eve was spent wif my cousin and his gf and frenz at kbox........ had lotsa fun there...... and i was sooo obedient coz i din drink that nitez....... heez...... okiez larx....... maybe juz a few sips only...... and i got to know that someone juz got married and will be throwing a wedding banquet soon...... saw the wedding photos and i'm so happy for him.......hah..... went home at 6am in the morning on x'mas day and slept....... zoned out straight away.......... ohz yes...... met up with anne and shuming before meeting my cousin for gift exchange........ heez......... am glad that they like the gift i bought for them from taiwan......... its been sucha long time since we last catch up wif each other coz we're all so busy busy busy...........
Thn it was back to work work and more work again..... i need some excitement in my life........ can someone pls give mi some excitement........pretty pls......... see... i'm tokking rubbish again......
Thn came new yr's eve....... went to watch nitez at the museum with frenz....... the show is so farnie and nice....... i lurve the monkey and the pharoah......... wahahahaha.......... thn my fren sent mi down to my cousin's place for steamboat and countdown....... heh....... drank abit too much and was kinda high that nitez...... well, all the gals were high that nitez........ and there goes 2006......
The yr 2006 had been a yr full of ups and downs for mi........ it was the yr i turned 21 ( eventhough i dun look like i am 21 )......... the yr i retook my 'A' lvls again coz i played too much in 2005...... and seriously suffered alot retaking........ the yr where frenships were put to the test and realisations occured....... the yr i worked in the f&b industry where i've never considered working in one before......... it has been an eventful yr for mi........ hope 2007 will be betta........ so much more betta........ and i'm seriously broke now........ money money come to mi.......hah......
waiting for pay day so that i can go out........ and i wanna resume back my piano class again....... okayz...... thats all for this entry......... a uber long entry..........

wad will tml bring?

2006-12-12T23:50:00.000-08:00

Had fun juz now together with frenz at bukit panjang plaza's starbucks..... was slacking there and basically doing crazy crazy stuffs together........ really enjoyed myself....... thn we decided to try some crazy thing like buying a bottle of coke and mentos and throwing mentos into the bottle of coke to see the reaction...... it was so fun...... thn i drank the coke to see wad will happen.. nothing happened though...... its been some time since i last did silly things on the spur of the moment..... bud it was fun while it lasted....... hahahaha........
Guess its becoz i'm flying off to taiwan tml which explains my ultra crazy behaviour today....hahaha...... finally i can be off from this place of sorrowful happenings........ of sadness and fake smiles...... the place where light was brought into my life only to let mi treasure the beauty of darkness....... the place where the darkess days and the brightess nights happened....... Tired and drained....... i seriously wonder why am i still carrying on....... Bud soon....... i'll be gone from this place....... to somewhere i can be alone....... to a place where i know i wun be hurt........ where i can be free and happy....... which is why i prefer solitude sometimes...... becoz its in solitude where i know i wun be hurt by anything or anyone.......
Its the reason why i lurve the nights becoz i can be alone in my own silent world...... away from the superficial and shallow world....... sometimes its juz so hard to find ppl whom u can trust....... the world is juz so full of ironies...... frenz have been asking why i've become so skeptical abt human relationships...... its becoz time and time again i've been proven right with regards to my theories..... some believe that fairytales do happen in real life, which is good for them bud i beg to differ....... coz reality is cruel and cruelty dun happen in fairytales........ agree???
K larx...... revealing too much already........ will update when i'm back from taiwan.........

Sick sick sick.........

2006-12-09T22:30:00.000-08:00

Heheh........ back to update after so so so long........ lolx..... exams came and went...... finally........ so happy...... thn buried myself in work....... coz need to earn back the money....... eagerly waiting for the vcds of this show hana kimi to arrive...... has been watching it from youtube and i lurve it...... hahahaha......... seriously feeling like i've got no life...... it has been work and home and nowhere else........ hahahaha...... went for attachment at another store on tuesday...... was over the moon there........ hahaha........ was it fate or chance?
The open house on thurs was fun........ bud it was tiring too....... heez....... and i'm sick now........ coughing and coughing non-stop........ and i miss the seminar that i wanted to go today........ sad sad sad........ went out for lunch today and found the hana kimi soundtrack....... the songs are so nice......... lolx.......
Tml if everything goes well... i'll be able to go out somewhere........ kinda want to go there....... before i fly off to taiwan...... juz want to have another look before i go....... no guts to talk larx so would most prolly be juz observing silently......... bud its like kinda long story... lolx.......... so hopefully tml can go there........ haiz........ and i'm coughing terribly now......... eekkz....... lolx.........
Looking forward to my taiwan trip and going there tml........ heez........ tada........ blog again another time.......

long hiatus

2006-11-09T18:11:00.000-08:00

Back to update after a long long time, hahaha, seriously not in the mood to do anything except to study, bud kinda worried as to whether wad i've studied actually went into my brain, have been making frequent trips to the library and starbucks to get my studying done and watching TJ at the same time......
My first paper had been kind of saddening especially the essay paper, and i din manage to complete a few questions of paper 2.......so to say GP wasnt done well...... wasted time on my essay paper, had picked the question i wanted to do and done the outline and than i hesitated and lost confidence in that question, switched to another question and i spent abt 30mins doing my outline including the time i wasted on the first outline......pressured myself to come up with a gd intro and another 15mins wasted....... din had time to finish up my essay......sigh......
Tml is history paper 1 and i'm not confident at all....... juz going to give it my best shot.......haiz....... no mood no mood........ exams kills happiness......... kekez..... off to watch some mvs before i resume back to russian revolution and world war 1...... tata.......

human r/s

2006-10-18T23:55:00.000-07:00

Back to update...... went cycling last sat and was riding the double bicycle with a fren when he hit a rock and brake suddenly and i flew off the bicycle..... kinda worried will have scars on my hand...... sob sob......
After some incidents last week and tis week, it has really set me thinking...... why is human relationships so complicated? why cant things be much simpler and happier...... my fren asked me.... why dun u go find someone and give urself another try again at love... its high time u find someone to give u happiness again...... it was a simple question bud i didnt know how to reply back...... eventhough there were many thoughts going thru me at that time........ bud i guess my answer would be still the same bahz....... i seriously wonder who is the guy that can change my perception and make mi trust in the male population again........ and i dun tink my standards is too high...... to sum it up simply... a guy who can give mi what money cant buy........hhmm.........
Watching tokyo juliet is really a nice distractor....... kinda helps to relax myself...... the show is farnie and nice......... love the male lead of the show- wu zun..... hehehe....... love the way he protects and shows his love and faithfulness for the female lead which i know doesnt happen in real life...... bud it really helps to relax mi....... hahaha.........
Seriously getting more worried about my upcoming exams........ feeling so lousy right now....... especially after what my mum said....... it juz adds to the pressure....... bud heck larx.... am juz going to give it my best shot........ hope to get well soon..... my throat is seriously killing mi......
Kekex........ shall blog until here.... a kinda random post.........hahahaha....... dun think i'm making any sense.......

confused.....

2006-10-10T23:05:00.000-07:00

Back to update.....lolx...... finally the new serial that i've been eagerly anticipating has arrived...... lolx...... titled- tokyo juliet..... the male lead veri shuai and cute..... hahaha..... the show itself is nice...... quite touching..... can understand why the show was titled tokyo juliet becoz it has some similarities with shakespeare's romeo and juliet...... now still in the midst of watching it..... only at disc 7 only......lolx......
Had an okiez day at work ytd except for an incident that spoilt my mood though it wasn't for long though.....becoz bu xiang gan de ren i wun even bother coz they're invisible to mi...... though i was kinda pissed off bud retail therapy worked abit........ lolx......
Kinda reaching the point where i'm feeling weary and tired already...... bud i wun give up....lolx...... had a really weird thought passing thru my mind ytd and today..... guess it occurred coz i was too tired..... lolx......hhmm.......
tml is my kor kor's b'day...... wish him an early happy b'day here.......lolx...... tata...... blog again......

mi back......

2006-10-04T23:30:00.000-07:00

Heez...... i'm back to update again...... yay..... in another few more days going to get pay liaoz...... bud kinda know tis mth's pay veri veri little.... bud nvm larx since i wun be going out alot so wun get to spend alot also.......haa......drinking my fav peach zhen zhu nai cha and blogging now....... lolx......
Had been thinking thru some stuff last nitez coz as usual cant get to slp........ is the world complicated by nature or its the people living in this world tat are complicated??? why cant things and people be simpler?? i juz dun understand...... bud i really wan to understand......people around mi- my close frenz and my cousin whom i call korkor and even my parents and tat fellow have been telling mi........ the world is not as innocent as u think it is....... u have to be wary of people...... bud how do u know who are the ones tat can be trusted?? Even my teacher whom i see once every week is also telling mi the same thing..... tat i cant be so innocent and naive....... gotta be careful of people around mi...... and after being hurt by so many people i'm seriously wondering if i shouldnt be too trusting afterall........ bud i know there'll be people tat'll be oways there for mi becoz i know they've oways been protecting mi....... its with them that i can oways not be so fearful....... simplicity in this complicated world..... izzit really tat hard to achieve?? hhmm......... kekez...... still got other more thoughts going on bud shall not say it here...... heh heh......
kekez....... tata.... blog another time..........

updates

2006-10-03T23:59:00.000-07:00

Heh heh....... back to update after sucha long time...... been busy wif work and studies...... finally feeling the stress and getting all nervous abt the exams already...... bud tink positive and tis means i'm one step closer to getting out of my torture...... hehehe.....
Finally i'm also getting to go taiwan already..... gotta start saving some money to spend over there......hahaha..... my parents have already booked the tix for our trip to taiwan....... so excited...... another reason to look forward to the end of exams........ hahahaha........
It was a rare moment today that we were able to go watch a movie tog...... coz we were not scheduled to work today...... hehehe....... went to watch a comedy that sorta releases some of my stress......hahaha........ it is a good thing...... bud the male lead in the movie kinda reminded mi of someone...... bud thats besides the point...... it was a pretty nice show i muz say....... heez......
Going to start my study break soon........ which means i'm gonna start to be hermit crab already...... heez...... kekez..... its sorta random entry........ hahaha........ tata...... blog again soon.......

wad is love???

2006-09-20T23:30:00.000-07:00

Heh heh...... back to update my blog again..... work has been kinda fun over the past week..... and had been studying quite a bit too....... have to chiong the final lap already...... finally remembered to send my skirt for designing after this matter slipped my mind a few times...... quite alot of things have been going thru my mind this few days.........
A familiar feeling is coming back to mi...... and i'm skeptical as to whether its a good omen or a bad one...... though i'm not really against it if it really is a good omen...... though i still have my reservations...... shall observe and see how it goes...... thinking abt alot of things too....... ppl have been telling mi tat its not good to bottle everything up and not speak out....... bud its kinda hard to trust ppl tat they'll not "discuss it behind ur back openly" etc....... and moreover somethings are betta left unsaid lest it snowballs into something tat'll create uneasiness.......
I seriously need to go on a holiday after my 'A' levels or i'll go crazy arghz....... hahaha.......shall aim for tat holiday.......hahaha....... kekez...... its back to market structures and role of govt for mi...... hahaha...... gotta go revise for my econs test tml........ tata!!!!

the course of true love nv run smooth...

2006-09-14T14:10:00.000-07:00

Back to update my blog again......haha......was busy working and studying the past 2 weeks........ seriously going to have no life already...... bud i juz have to endure another 2 more months....... its juz another 2 more months.......
Ppl have been telling mi the world is not as simple as i thought it is...... even human r/s in itself is complicated...... which is quite true to a certain extent...... can never fathom wad another person is thinking......blowing hot and cold....... why muz complicate things? really cannot comprehend......... haiz.......
shall keep this entry short and sweet....... kekez....... blog another time....... tata..... gonna go do my work......

was i ever wrong???

2006-09-02T23:05:00.000-07:00

Back to update my blog after so long..... been pretty busy with work and stuff...... been thinking alot also...... apparantly to some people promises had been a small matter..... and i have to understand all the "reasons" given...... wad that person said is still deeply etched in my memory...... that its not worth it to let a small matter spoil all these yrs of frenship...... apparantly wad i've deemed as important that they would take the effort to keep the promise have been nothing more than juz a small matter...... that after all these yrs...... the people whom i thought really cared gave "reasons" not to keep the promise afterall....... guess they really didnt understand how much i really cared to have their presence on that event....... so i have no right to be sad and disappointed about it...... that even being sad is being wrong....... they thought that i'm angry...... bud its sadness...... bud afterall its only a small matter...... i'm not worth the effort anyway....... so i've been really silly to be sad about it....... sad about something i deemed cherishable and touched if they had come........ and my sadness has apparantly incurred the wrath of them....... maybe how much i treasured them and cherished their frenship that they would make the effort is not that important to them...... that apparantly they took it that i didnt understand the reasons they gave...... apparantly i did understand no doubt upset....... guess people are unique in their own rights....... that i've frenz who eventhough were having serious problems occuring ard them came eventhough they told mi that they were not coming....... guess i've asked too much of the people who were supposedly my frenz of so many yrs...... they said they were sorry..... that they felt guilty...... anyway it has been deemed as a small matter...... and thus my skeptism that the above statement had been true....... well...... i'll juz take it that its true...... no point being sad when they dun even take that event as important.......guessed i've valued them more than they ever knew that their absence hurt mi so much....... bud since they feel that their absence has been a small matter....... than let it be so....... still want to thank them for the belated gift....... if thats wad they've thought really mattered to mi.......

sick and tired.....

2006-08-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

Back to update..... had been sick since wed.....tahan till thurs before going to see a doctor at nitez..... thn fri went down to the chalet to stay over and watch my parents and relatives play mahjong..... learnt something from watching them play.....
Ytd celebrated my 21st b'day at the chalet..... really appreciated those who took the effort to come and those who took the extra effort to come...... really touched by it....... and it has made mi realise somethings too......it is in situations that true colours are revealed..... really touched that u guys cared enough and bothered enuf to make the effort to come down and make my b'day a memorable one.....and an event where i learnt some lessons too.....u guys made my 21st b'day memorable and it'll be something i wun forget...... had fun wif my cousins and relatives and frenz that nitez...... hope u guys had fun too....... will be posting the pix soon...... took quite a number of pix on that day..... till my eyes were like seeing stars already......hahaha.......
And i was kinda shocked and surprised by the b'day gift my aunt gave...... coz she told my mum that she bought a nice gift for mi and hope that i'll like it...... and i was thinking maybe its a bag or a dress...... so i wasnt prepared to receive sucha expensive gift from them...... was really shocked when i was presented with a bag that bore the initials SK jewellery...... when i opened the present later at nitez...... it turned out to be a diamond pendant and necklace...... my reaction was one of disbelief...... bud i appreciated their presence ytd....... coz we dun meet up often...... Lurved all the gifts i received this yr for my 21st b'day coz i could feel the warmth in those gifts presented to mi ytd at the chalet.......
And i was watching tv on fri nitez at the chalet...... saw the advertisment that JJ's concert dvd is out already....... hahaha........ i'm gonna get it and watched it...... coz i missed his concert in singapore this yr.......heeheez......
kekez...... blog till here...... shall update another time........ coughing like mad now....... going to take medicine...... tata!!!

when i fall in love again.......

2006-08-13T22:32:00.000-07:00

Back to update my blog..... work has been okiez for mi so far.......kinda enjoying it except for some reasons......... kinda looking forward to my b'day.......hahaha.......
somehow i've been feeling veri lousy lately.......dunnoez wad has gotten over mi..... haven been seeing someone online........ wonder if something happened..... or that person blocked mi from msn......hhmm....... if not why so long nv get to see that person online...... that person really can cheer mi up....... juz by talking to that person is enuf to make mi happy....... bud its been so lng since i've seen that person online....
Kinda realised thru one incident that we really gotta cherish and make use of every opportunity that comes our way no matter wad the outcome may be...... kinda gathered up the courage already.......will i be able to get it out of my mouth...... the fear of rejection is part of the reason why i'm keeping my mouth shut......how how how....... bud i know i'm not that lucky de larx........haiz......
kekez....... blog till here..... no mood to blog today....... i miss that someone dearly and badly.......it has been 5mths already......

back again

2006-08-09T14:58:00.000-07:00

Yoz, back again to blogosphere....recently there's been some irritating coward who is making a nuisance in my taggie...... it only goes to show the level of maturity this person has.....hahaha..... life has been pretty much the same for mi.... last sat, my darling baby chincilla died...... am so sad....... miss seeing her whenever i get back home....... miss her big bright eyes when she sees mi back home and calling out her name...... miss my furball sia......haiz.....
have been going shopping ever since i got my pay...... haiz.... cannot spend so much money liaoz..... saw another new fossil watch that i like sia.... inside the clockface is a blinking heart with wings and the words angel on it..... veri nice lorx...... hahaha...... looking for shoes also..... wanna get a pair of heels bud not too high arbo later fall down......hahaha.....thinking whether to get the adidas cap that i saw...... bud i hardly wear caps thats why i'm hesitating as to whether i should get it...... looking for another bag also..... that i saw at adidas..... big and nice bud adidas super expensive sia..... so muz consider veri carefully first......hahaha.....
kekez...... blog till here..... gonna prepare to go out already.......tata!!!! i miss my chincilla and someone...... long time nv see that person and talk to the person already..... i'll keep you safely locked in my heart and head till i get to see you again...... miss ya loads......

to update

2006-08-02T23:55:00.000-07:00

Heez...... back to update my blog...... had been quite tiring for me this few days.... bud work is still kinda fun except for a few hiccups here and there...... and i finally bought the fossil watch that i've been eyeing......hahaha..... bought it on monday before i went for my lesson..... heehee...... the feeling of finally being able to own it......hahahaha....... its wonderful....... hahaha...... my fren was introducing me to some webbies where they sell imported clothings from korea and taiwan...... and i kinda had my eyes set on some of those clothes.... gonna try buying it when i get my pay.....hahaha...... and its not really that expensive.... i would say they are quite reasonably priced......hahaha......
to end of my post today......something for you zq to try and figure out to kill time..... u guys are free to try it too if you want......hahahaha.......

Evolve in on your,
A bed he I tills lotus vow,
A gaga shh hint mr tour,
Dec iff mi sunny ons oso.

See if u can figure it out......lemme me know if you think u've got it...... :) tata...

hectic weekend.......

2006-07-31T14:15:00.000-07:00

It has been a hectic weekend for mi sia......on fri, worked till 12am in the morning and reached home around 1plus in the morning.....was so tired that i juz knock out the moment i reached home...... on sat, had to wake up early in the morning to prepare to go bukit panjang plaza to celebrate zq's b'day..... had lunch and chit chatted till ard 2plus before i had to rushed off for my piano lesson at ps.... and it was raining so so so heavily larx...... luckily jojo took a cab and sent mi to the nearest bus stop..... thn i juz cross the overhead bridge to take the bus...... after my piano lesson walked all the way down to far east to shop for awhile before heading down for work...... worked till 1plus in the morning and was dead beat by the time i reached home...... spent the whole day ytd watching tv and slacking at home...... to replenish energy.......hahaha..... tata.... blog again soon.......

tired....

2006-07-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

Heez.... quite some time since i last blogged.....the past week has been tiring for me..... bud i managed to do some studying at the library on sunday...... hahahaha...... and the watch i've been eyeing finally arrived on monday.... went to had a look at it and omg..... its so nice...... i like i like.... hahahaha......feeling veri tired this past few days too...... which is why i didnt had the mood to update my blog..... hahaha...... and last fri... my hao jie mei finally got enlisted into the army..... its sayonara to him until 3 weeks later......
Time seems to be passing by faster and faster..... and i've been thinking thru alot of issues this past few days too...... hhmm....... kekez...... today's entry shall be a super short one..... coz i'm super tired...... tata..... blog again another day.....

Insomnia......

2006-07-19T02:30:00.000-07:00

Haiz.... suffering from insomnia this past few days..... cant seem to be getting to sleep at all till the wee hrs of the morning..... which explains why i'm blogging at this hr..... becoz it doesnt help at all if i were to go to sleep now.... all i would do is to toss and turn about in bed..... arghz..... wads wrong with mi sia..... i really want to know......
Something happened on monday which pissed mi off alot..... bud i guess thats wad makes everyone unique in their own rights..... hahaha...... gp lesson was fun.... did abit of tidying up ytd..... sort of organized my notes into better sections to facilitate easy access to whichever notes i want to study......
Watched the last episode of devil beside you on sunday...... watched the re-run which was at 1am..... sob sob..... the show end already...... bud the next show to be aired is veri nice.... according to the reviews i've been getting regarding the show.....hahaha...... looking forward to it on sun...... having quite some doubts inside mi though this past few days.....hahaha....... okiez..... to make zq happy..... shall do something which she asked mi to do bud i've refused to do.....hahaha... since i cant get to slp so i shall do it now...... zq, read on..... something for you to read while u are at work already......

7 things abt me:
1. i am short...... i stand at only 151cm
2. i am quite accident prone.
3. i like drinking alcohol bud i'm not a hardcore alcoholic that will die without alcohol.
4. i have a chincilla and 2 cages of hamsters.
5. i wanna get married before 26, hahaha.
6. i cant take coconut foodstuffs.
7. i adore cheesecakes.

7 things that i like:
1. PINK colour
2. being doted on :)
3. hamsters, chincillas, rabbits and shih tzu, maltese dogs
4. piano
5. reading a nice book
6. marathoning nice vcds at home
7. retail therapy

7 things that i dislike:
1. betrayers of feelings/ trust etc..... slanderers.
2. lizards, cockroaches, insects of all sorts.
3. being accused of something which i did not do.
4. being dictated to do things.
5. people who dont know how to respect others.
6. guys who beat ard the bush and who dont have a mind of their own.
7. people who keep nagging at me non stop.

7 things on my wishlist now:
1. the new fossil watch-valentine.
2. to go to hong kong and if possible taiwan also at the end of the yr.
3. get some new pants/ skirts/ tops.
4. to get my hair a new colour.
5. the adidas cap i saw.
6. the new perfume incanto charms by salvadore ferragamo.
7. to spend a sweet and memorable day with him. ( abit impossible though )..... bud there's no harm in wishing ritez. :)

7 things that i will not do:
1. admit to him my feelings.
2. admit defeat easily without trying.
3. obediently following what others say without having a mind of my own.
4. try dangerous rides. unless i go crazy.
5. acting "fake"....... wad you see is wad you get.
6. suck up to people.
7. wear loud coloured clothings that makes mi look like a fashion disaster.

7 songs that conveys my emotions now:
1. hen xiang shuo by li sheng jie.
2. beautiful love by tanya.
3. zhi xiang ai ni by rainie yang cheng lin
4. wo yao kuai le by zhang hui mei.
5. shi jie wei yi de ni by cao ge
6. shu neng shen qiao by JJ lin junjie
7. yuan lai by JJ lin junjie

Kekez..... thats all bahz...... blog again another time...... tata!!!

A new blogskin.......

2006-07-16T18:42:00.000-07:00

Yay..... got a new blogskin..... Nice?? haahaahaa...... i'm back to blog again..... juz a random post though........ heez.....
Attended my cousin's b'day celebration ytd..... enjoyed myself...... before that went to work and was kinda tired..... coz i slept only 3hrs the nitez before...... went to watch midnitez show mahz...... hahaha...... went to watch superman returns with my parents...... the show is nice....... hahaha
Saw the new fossil watch- valentine on cleo 2 days ago..... the watch is so so so so nice....... cant wait to lay my hands on it.....heez.......
tata..... blog again......

i'm back to blogosphere......

2006-07-13T23:55:00.000-07:00

Heh heh...... back to update my blog again...... heez..... due to a number of ppl telling mi tat there's something wrong with my blogskin..... i've decided to change it and find something nice...... found it already and waiting for zq to change it for mi tml......hahaha.......
Updates on wad i've been up to tis past week...... had been working nitez shifts last week and kinda enjoyed it...... with regards to work and studies there's not much changes...... been pretty much the same routine......heez.......
HHmm...... apparantly i've been wrong with regards to something...... tot that person had blocked mi in msn bud i was wrong as i got to see that person online a few days ago...... kinda brightened my day coz i was able to chat with that person again...... brought sunshine into my life and day......heez..... cant wait to get to meet the person online again......to have our next chat session......
heez..... kekez...... blog till here...... tata!!!

Updates......

2006-07-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

Heez...... had been sick since last sat..... woke up feeling abit feverish and having a bad sore throat...... went to work as usual and tahan for that few hrs until i went home and took medicine before falling into deep slumber......and continued slping until sunday afternoon..... waking up in between to take medicine..... head was throbbing in pain and i didn't wanted to get out of bed....
Bud still i forced myself to wake up and get ready to go to my 'hao jie mei's' hse to celebrate his 21st b'day...... took alot of pix that day and kinda enjoyed myself though i could not talk much as my throat was hurting like crazy...... heez....... we took like over 60 pix on that day according to my fren who went to count the number......heez......
Ytd, met up with mich and zahidah at wisma as i had to go and settle some stuff in town also...... went window shopping with them and made a mental list of the things that i wanna buy too....... hahaha....... seems like a long list......hahaha...... on fri..... my mum was asking mi how do i want to celebrate my 21st b'day...... was kinda stumped for a moment coz hadn't really thought abt it...... any ideas anyone??? heez...... my dad suggested booking a chalet to celebrate my b'day bud i'm still thinking....... heez..... bud i kinda know wad kind of design i want my cake to be....... heez...... hhmm......
kekez...... gonna go watch my show....... tata!!! I WANT MY VOICE BACK!!! hahaha.....

So tired......

2006-06-30T23:40:00.000-07:00

Heez... back to update...... had been working for the past few days and it has been super tiring sia....... bud fun except for a few hiccups along the way....... and i've been glued to my bed refusing to get up in the morning...... hahaha...... juz like the feeling of lying in bed...... hahaha....... today was my longest day sia..... now both my legs are crying for a massage already..... hahaha....... at least today i din shortchange any customers....... hahaha.......
Has been thinking alot this past few days also....... and i'm kinda glad that at least the person was genuine enough to say out wad was in the heart...... eventhough i got to know it by chance...... or maybe it wasn't by chance........ hhmm....... bud kinda agreed with someone that this world is indeed full of people hiding behind a mask....... scary bud sadly its true........
Hhmm...... kekez... brain not functioning well already....... my brain is screaming for a rest... hahaha........ blog again soon...... tata.......

Mixed feelings thru and thru.......

2006-06-28T23:37:00.000-07:00

This few days has been fun.... happie..... sad...... moody and lots and lots of mixed feelings...... work was okiez...... was doing the POS register today and i shortchanged customers like 3 times..... luckily i found out juz in time before handing the change over to the customers....... had mi panicky for a moment...... i seriously sux at counting larx....... time passed quickly though...... which is a good thing...... hahaha......
Talked to someone for 2 days and that seriously made my day...... was actually feeling quite moody in the morning bud the talk in the nitez juz cheered mi up so much...... doubt that person knows it bud its okiez....... coz i din intend for that person to know....... hahaha........ Looking forward to more chat sessions with that person...... :)
Received a surprising sms from someone ytd...... was surprised because i felt that sms to be fishy....... that there's a hidden agenda....... because i dun usually receive smses from that person....... and suddenly when a sms comes from that person..... somehow i juz felt that its not as simple as i really want to believe it is....... hhmm........ juz some random thoughts..... hahaha.......
Tata....... thats all for today's entry..........

updates......

2006-06-24T23:22:00.000-07:00

Heez..... back to update my blog...... went for tuition on thurs thn back home.... basically nothing much happened on thurs...... tok to someone online also..... fri, went to work in the afternoon before meeting my frenz to go for the 933 jie tou bao chang hui..... quite alot of ppl there...... actually the reason we went there is to hear guang liang sing...... hahaha..... and finally after waiting and waiting it was his turn...... yahz, he was the last one to come out...... hahaha...... we sat outside mac to watch the whole tingie from the big screen...... at the same time to have our dinner also larx...... hahaha....... went home quite late ytd and was nearly late for work today....... luckily my fren msged mi and it was her msg which saved the day.....hahaha...... went to work thn went out wif my fren shopping at far east...... bought a top from my fav store there...... hahaha...... bud before we went shopping my fren accompanied mi to have my lunch as i was super hungry already...... hahaha.......
Hhmm..... not sure if i'm juz being sensitive or someting bud tis 2 days whenever i come online, someone would log off like 5 mins later..... it seems like that person dun wanna see mi online or someting...... am i juz sensitive or is it intuition proved correct??? I dunnoez..........
kekez...... blog again another time........ tata.......

Happy weekend........

2006-06-21T23:30:00.000-07:00

Heez!!! Had an enjoyable weekend....... my parents brought my sis on holiday and i chose to stay in s'pore...... enjoyed the freedom i had...... on having the whole house to myself and the peace that i had..... hahaha...... kinda treasured these past few days...... my fren came over on sun to stay overnitez and we had a meaningful chat and watched vcds..... hahaha...... thn woke up on tues to receive a sms that brightened up my whole day...... hahaha....... and some other stuff happened too that brightened up my day..... hahaha........
Actually nothing much happened these few days too....... got my entry proof on sat....... the time slots sux to the core....... though i welcomed the 1 week break after my gp paper bud this means that my whole exam would drag and end later....... haiz...... gotta buck up sia........ hahaha......... and i'm falling sick le........ alamak.......
kekez....... going to watch my shows liaoz....... blog again another time........

welcome to my life......

2006-06-14T12:15:00.000-07:00

I'm back to update my blog.... wahahaha...... anyway these past few days had not been going ritez for me...... sat kinda did nothing much except going to sing at kbox with maggie and benji...... hahaha....... thn sun woke up and went for tuition as usual........ nothing much...... kinda realised something this few days..... that ppl are not as nice as they seem to be...... or rather i should say...... they haven been nice at all...... kinda know that there's alot of politics going on..... and its kinda sad sia...... anyway it is so fake and hypocritical as i've come to realise regarding some ppl...... haiz...... filled with angst ritez now sia...... bud i shall tolerate...... shall not stoop to their level....... coz its juz so wrong...... bud i'll juz tolerate...... coz i know there's a difference between ppl who are educated and ppl who are trained to carry pots and pans......want to know wads with the pots and pans...... u can come and ask me..... i guess that there are some ppl who are juz jealous of wad others have......hhm..... an example would be, some ppl could be born not needing to carry pots and pans bud some others would need to do so and thus emerge the green eyed monster in them..... and the two headed monster ravaging inside them too...... so i shall not stoop to their level....... its not ritez worx..... want to know more details can ask me in depth...... haha......
kekez....... shall stop here...... going to do my stuff before going to work....... tata..... blog again soon.........

Hen xiang shuo....LoVe's beautiful......

2006-06-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

Heh!! finally got the time to blog again...... the past 5 days had been well spent....... went to work and attended classes thn home sweet home...... was kinda worried when i got to work and i can say it was okiez this past few days..... haiz...... muz go go jia you liaoz..... the only thingie that irritates mi the most is the whipped cream...... i seriously dun understand why is it so hard for mi to juz squeeze out the whipped cream from the can larx...... it juz doesn't want to come out nice and presentable......
Hhmm....... lessons are okiez and the sense of urgency is getting into mi already..... to juz buck up in my studies liaoz..... and i'm now addicted to this show on scv..... hahaha..... kinda like one of the male lead in the show...... hahaha...... and u guys muz be wondering why my heading is ' hen xiang shuo.... LoVe's beautiful'....... heh heh!! coz this 2 new songs are nice...... heard them over the radio and fell in love with them...... the 2 new songs are hen xiang shuo by li sheng jie and beautiful love by tanya....... and this is the first time i'm liking a song by tanya..... coz i juz find the lyrics of this song veri meaningful...... hahaha....... kekez....... super tired liaoz...... gonna go into lala land already...... looking forward to my kbox outing tml...... hahaha...... long time since i last step into kbox liaoz...... hahaha........ tata!!!

To say or not to say????

2006-06-05T23:58:00.001-07:00

Haiz..... i muz be so crazy....... its so late and yet i'm still not slping bud blogging...... i cant get to slp....... it has been the case for quite some time already...... bogged down by some problems that cant be said here..... as in not to be broadcasted here......
This past few days have been quite busy for mi...... went to watch x-men with my parents on friday nitez..... hahaha....... the show is nice...... i like it...... had been wanting to watch it and since my dad is paying so i watch lorx.... hahaha..... got company mahz...... hahaha.......
Thn on sat woke up early to go for my last training class and i had alot of fun over there....... we were all so comical and farnie...... hahaha...... thn after training i took a train and went for service....... and headed home after that...... sat was really a long and tiring day for mi bud i enjoyed it veri much........
On sunday woke up late as a result of many sleepless nitez and went for my tuition straight from home....... after that went out for drinks and had a really interesting talk amongst ourselves...... interesting and enriching i would say...... hahaha..... to learn of different opinions and perspectives to the same issue....... hahaha........
Today...... had my first in store training and i had a hard time finding the place larx..... so ulu...... make mi walk under the sweltering heat looking for the place.... luckily i left my house early if not i would have been late...... hahaha... thn my mum called mi and told mi that shortly after i left my house...... my hamster gave birth again....... to another 6 more babies....... hahaha..... bud my poor baby chincilla was kind of jealous and upset...... and i had to pacify her...... hahaha......
Haiz..... kinda debating whether i should say or juz keep quiet abt it...... on one hand i want to say bud on the other hand i refuse to say becoz of the repercussions that will occur if i say......how.... how..... how....... haiz......kekez...... blog till here....... gonna try to force myself to slp coz i have to work tml as well....... tata.....

HHmmm......

2006-06-02T11:36:00.000-07:00

Hahaha..... finally get the chance to blog again........ had been rather busy this past few days...... attending training and classes till late in the nitez....... hahaha..... bud i'm enjoying myself alot..... was out to meet my frenz to get vaccinated and to watch a movie plus retail therapy...... hahaha...... watched the da vinci code at last on wed..... the movie was not too bad bud kinda felt that they modified the plot alil' bit...... had to rush for the last train after the movie..... hahaha.... and i mean literally rush for it..... got there 3 mins before the last train was due to arrive..... hahaha..... ytd was spend staying at home before going for my lesson..... kinda feel that i would be busy as the days go by...... hahaha......
Saw this phrase when i was in the queue waiting to enter the cinema on wed..... it kinda struck mi and i liked the phrase veri much........ ' Love can't be forced.... and it can't be compromised......' found it to be meaningful....... mite be becoz i share the same sentiments........ hahaha....... kekez...... will be another busy few days for mi...... hahaha....... blog again soon..... tata!!!
I miss Him alot alot alot!!!!

In the midst of a 'wu xia novel'........

2006-05-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

Hah!! Finally got to blogging again.....hahaha...... basically nothing much happened....... went for econs lesson on thurs and enjoyed myself...... yakking and yakking....... hahaha....... thn went down to town on thurss also to get some stuff from far east...... saw a veri nice top and my heart is itching to get it...... hahaha......
Fri stayed home the whole day before going out in the afternoon for training..... enjoyed myself during the training.......hhmm....... saw someone that reminded mi of someone....... the character and charisma kinda reminded mi of someone...... hahaha.......
Thn today went for my piano lesson and went to shop ard also......... hahaha...... bought another necklace at ps...... hahaha.. i like.. coz pink colour de......hahaha....... and finally wen to get my fav peach yoghurt to eat le....... hahaha......
Kinda excited about next wed...... going to watch THE DA VINCI CODE next wed....... cant wait for it..... to marvel at the nice surroundings and the paintings...... i loved reading that book....... now can watch the movie..... hahaha...... so excited....... eventhough there were much controversies going on with regards to the book.... which baffles mi alot....... bud i feel that its a nice book...... juz read it wif an open mind to learn something more thn can liaoz lorx...... no need to be so scared de..... this scared that scared...... everything scared scared..... thn life will be veri boring le....... hahaha...... i feel that its ur own mindset and nobody can dictate wad u can do and cannot do...... blind following is juz plain dumb.... ppl cant make decisions for you..... and if juz blindly obey and obey its juz pure brainlessness larx...... and i'm amazed at how dan brown can manage to write a book like this..... hahaha...... counting down the days...... kekez..... blog here for now...... tata!!!

A simple update......

2006-05-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

Heh!!taking the chance to update my blog again..... hahaha...... basically nothing exciting happened this past 3 days....... went back to sch on monday to collect my cert and donate my uniform together with my fren...... after that we went to ps to catch a movie- poseidon....... the movie is nice...... enjoyed the movie..... monday was really a packed day for me..... in the morning had to wake up early to teach before going to meet my fren..... whole day was out travelling ard bud i kinda enjoyed it..... coz can spend time with my fren to catch up.....hahaha..... nothing much happened ytd....... slack ard at home before going down to orchard to get some stuff and do some things before going for lesson.....
Today went out for awhile to orchard to do some things also...... bud mostly i spent my time reading my lit text...... on the comfort of my bed..... hahaha..... and also re-watching some episodes of er zhuo ju zhi wen...... hahaha...... it nv fails to make me cry....... hahaha........ heard a song on mon over the radio and found the song very nice..... loved the lyrics...... hahaha..... the title of this song is 'Crying In The Rain'........below are the lyrics..... heehee...... tata..... going back to reading my book..... blog another time.....

I''ll never let you see
The way my broken heart is hurting me
I''ve got my pride
And I know how to hide all my sorrow and pain
I''ll do my crying in the rain

If I wait for stormy skies
You won''t know the rain from the tears in my eyes
You''ll never know that I still love you so
Though the heartaches remain
I''ll do my crying in the rain

Raindrops falling from heaven
Could never take away my misery
But since we''re not together
I''ll wait for stormy weather to hide these tears
I hope you''ll never see

Someday when my crying''s done
I''m gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun
I may be a fool
But till then, darling
You''ll never see the complain
I''ll do my crying in the rain

Reflections.....

2006-05-21T23:36:00.000-07:00

Heh!! did nothing the whole day today except to morph into a couch potato.....hahaha...... watched 'devil beside you' and some other nice serials also...... and to surf the net and check some stuff...... heehee..... not to forget chatting on msn also...... nothing much happened....
Was out ytd for my piano lesson and came home straight away after that too.... see..... arghz..... dunnoez why..... bud i seem to juz want to slack at home and not go out this few days..... kinda hitting a low point in my life...... fearing for my studies..... like wad the heck...... i freaking dun understand a single thing of wads going on in the new text i've to handle for the exams...... so many obstacles and hurdles to cross...... like wad the heck...... arghz..... feel like giving up already...... and juz forget about the whole thing....... juz when i've decided to give my best for this yr...... how to give my best when i dun even get wad the book is saying......haiz.....
Went to the library on friday to study and to find notes as well...... cant even find wad i wanted in the library...... i juz dun understand why they have to pick this book when its juz so hard to get my hands on notes to help mi betta understand the text...... bud on a brighter note..... i managed to find some notes for my other texts..... and managed to do some studying over at the library too...... cannot procrastinate already...... i muz make it to university next yr no matter wad.......
Hhmm....... going back to sch to collect my cert tml le..... such disgracing results..... gonna hide the cert after i get it......haha...... plus tml gonna go teach the last lesson...... and its in the morning...... hope i wake up in time...... hahaha...... tata... blog another time......

I have met him......heez..... bud i tink he doesnt even know i existed.......

Sarang Heyo means I love you!!!

2006-05-17T12:55:00.000-07:00

Heh Heh!!! Yay!! Today is the day my piano is arriving.... so happie!!! haha.... currently listening to JJ's latest cd and blogging while waiting for my piano to arrive...... lurving his songs more and more every minute....his songs are juz so so nice coz the lyrics are so beautifully written...... anyway his songs have oways been nice to me.....hahaha...... really want to go to his concert in june.... trying to save the money to go..... this means that i am badly in need of a stable job.....hahaha....
Okiez.... the not so happie thing which happened so far is that my baby hamster is sick..... dunnoez what happened to him, kinda feeling lethargic and is oways slping.... my heart pains so much lorx to see him liddat..... went swimming ytd.... finally went for a gd swim after so long coz the weather was juz no gd for the past week or so..... hahaha.....
Okiez..... JJ is singing about yoghurt now and suddenly i'm craving for my fav peach yoghurt......hahaha.....
And I Miss Him So!!!
Kekez..... gonna go print out some stuff liaoz..... before going to meet a fren tonitez for drinks..... tata!!!

Going to fall sick le!!!

2006-05-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

Nothing much happened this few days.... went out for dinner with my family on fri on the pretext of celebrating mother's day..... thn on sat went out with my mum to get my piano..... yay!!! gonna get the piano by wed......another 3 more days to go..... heehee!!! thn today also nothing much..... i set my alarm to wake myself up for service bud i forgot to save it and so it din ring at all...... sianz diaoz lorx..... thn in the afternoon went down to library to study and do my homework..... and to find some references also..... hahaha......
Haiz.... nw muz study hard liaoz... no time to waste..... plus got some displeasure also larx...... bud regarding wad.... not safe to say here...... tata... blog another time.......

Crappy and crazy!!!

2006-05-11T14:30:00.000-07:00

Hah!! In one of my crappy and crazy moods this few days..... Went for fren's b'day celebration on sun and enjoyed myself wif them..... quite some time never gather wif them to catch up liaoz..... found out an interesting piece of news which totally caught mi off guard and proved to mi that love is indeed blind..... it was such a shocking piece of news larx...... at least to mi it is......hahaha..... and i think that some of those who heard the news was also shocked.....hahaha....
Basically nothing much happened after sunday's gathering....went for lessons as usual and was caught in the heavy downpour on tuesday which left mi having a fever when i got home.......thn ytd went to meet a fren for dinner at wisma and i saw quite a few tops that i like from topshop and esprite..... arghz!! bud have to budget so cannot anyhow spend money.... think i will juz compromise and buy the one that i lurve best out of the 3 i saw......hahaha.... nothing like good ol' retail therapy......hahaha.....
Hhhmm..... was juz thinking of some stuff ytd.... if everything had not ended between us....today would have been our 4yrs anniversary already..... bus sadly speaking, it is close to 1yr that we have broken up already.... bud i do not have any regrets at all..... no point crying over spilt milk mahz..... anyway i was not the one who din wanted to treasure the relationship.....okiez.... i have digressed enuf...... dun wanna talk abt this already...... i have moved on and i juz wished him all the best...... anyway we are still frenz who meet up often...... happy and satisfied to maintain this status quo......
So happy to see the babies of my hamster growing day by day..... getting stronger and fatter also.....hahaha..... and i miss him so..... hahaha.... okiez...... this previous sentence has nothing to do wif my hamsters.....hahahaha......
Tata!!! blog again another time.......

I nid serenity and peace.......

2006-05-05T22:50:00.000-07:00

Went out today to far east to get the bag that i saw on wed while accompanying my fren to get her shoes..... had wanted to get the medium sized one bud they dun have it anymore so i got the big one that i saw on wed..... was kinda apprenhensive abt getting that bag coz it is really huge..... can use it when i go travelling also..... bud its gd coz i dun really like small bags...... becoz small bags can only put in veri little stuff, thats why i dun like......hahaha..... thn there was this lady who saw mi carrying that bag in front of the mirror to see if it suits mi and she also requested for that same bag in the same colour also......hahaha...... and she was lucky coz there was only 2 left juz nice for mi and her......hahaha......
My heart is veri unsettled and i really need peace and serenity....... there are alot of thoughts and things going thru my mind now and i am feeling veri veri troubled..... plus the fact that there is this deep longing in my heart too...... bud that is not the main thing...... there are still more serious issues that needs to be settled first....... well, i guess that these are all part and parcel of life...... happiness comes sorrow....... gaining comes losing....... love comes hatred...... life comes death...... its a cycle that we mere mortals cannot escape from...... juz have to take it in our stride and carry on with life.......haiz..... kekez..... enuf of such melancholic things.....
Looking forward to the last day of the week..... hope to have tis tiny wish of mine fulfilled.....heehee!!

Day out at sentosa......

2006-05-03T23:20:00.000-07:00

Had an enjoyable day today at sentosa wif my fren...... we went to siloso beach to suntan ourselves......hahaha...... my fren was the one sitting under the sun to suntan whereas i was hiding under the palm trees so as not to be burnt bud i was tanned nonetheless.......hahaha..... really enjoyed myself veri much..... when we felt the sun was not strong enuf for tanning, we went into the sea for a swim.......hahaha.... miss swimming...... while we were tanning, we juz sat down and chatted abt wad is happening in our lives so far...... we haven seen each other for 1 mth plus already...... so long lorx...... hahaha..... really missed chatting wif her.....hahaha.....
Thn after we finish our suntanning and swimming, we headed down to far east becoz she wanted to buy a pair of shoes for work..... we shopped ard far east for awhile before settling down at long john silver's to have our dinner.....and continue chatting somemore..... it is a nice and happy day today......
On the other hand..... i'm utterly confused and frightened as to wad i should do next..... i'm going to be at my wits end already.... on the verge of exploding..... praying to god and asking for guidance and wisdom....... i dun wish to see the worse happening....... kinda disillusioned already........ bud i'll not let tis get mi down...... i'll take it that a great lesson is learnt from tis incident....... becoz i know god will make a way.......
thats all for today's entry... blog again another time......shall end on a happy note.....
p.s: feelings of deja vu..... its something that i did not have before...... thinking and thinking of that day..... the day when i first felt like tis..... the corners of my lips curled upwards into a smile.... and sweetness juz encompasses mi.....

Trapped and torn apart.......

2006-05-01T18:10:00.000-07:00

Long time never update my blog already.......coz so many things are happening and so i din have the mood to update my blog...... have finished reading the da vinci code on sat liaoz...... the ending was kinda unexpected for mi though i managed to guessed some parts of it......its a veri nice book to read.....
Somehow tis few days i've come to realise that wad i've seen on the surface is not true at all....... it is merely juz a cover up..... of the terrible things that are happening beneath this facade...... kinda disillusioned with wad i've found out tis few days...... i'm kinda stuck in the middle and i dunnoez wad to do at all..... i really dun wish for the worst to happen..... and i'm beginning to see a characteristic of someone in someone from wad i've found out tis few days.....
Really hope that everything will turn out well..... praying to god for strength and courage.... and the wisdom to do the ritez things......